“Look, Zach, I’m sorry. I really am. But I have to help him.” I’m not pleading. I want him to understand, but if he doesn’t get it, that’s not going to change what I have to do. “It might not make sense, but in a way, I feel responsible—”
“Greta—ohmyfuckinggod—do you hear yourself?”
“Not for his actions, Zach. Gimme some credit here,” I snap back. “But for not getting him the right kind of help sooner.”
“No. Just no. You arein no wayresponsible for him.”
I pull a long sigh, wishing I could make him understand. “I disagree. I should have realized what he was dealing with when we were together.” I snort. “Me of all people.”
“No.No, Greta. Don’t let him do this to you.”I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound so angry.
I shake my head as if he could see me. “It’s not so much about him as it is about me.” Okay, maybe I do sound like I’m pleading.
He huffs. “Then don’t do this to yourself. Please. For god’s sake.” He sounds almost desperate. “He’s not worth it.”
“You don’t understand,” I say again, but my voice has dropped to a murmur.
We go quiet.
I hear him sigh. He sounds miserable.
“Greta. I have to ask you something.”
I wait. And wait. “Okay.” I finally prompt.
His inhale over the line is epic. The longest, deepest breath ever.
“I know you said you weren’t still in love with him, but do you still have feelings for him?”
I choke.
“Not likethat!”I practically shout the words. “Jesus, Zach. Of course not!”
I can’t believe he’s asking me this again. It suddenly feels like he’s been gone way longer than six days.
He exhales, and the sound is so full of relief it twists my heart. “I had to ask.”
“Baby—” God, I just want to hold him so bad right now. “You’re the only one I have feelings for.”
I want to tell him I love him. I love him like I’ve never loved anyone. And maybe I should just go for it and make that declaration, but it seems wrong to do it over the phone when we aren’t even in the same time zone.
“Good,” he murmurs, his voice raw. “Because I hope you know… what you mean to me.”
It’s tinged with sadness, but I still smile. “I might,” I admit with a reckless hope.
We’re quiet for a while. I’m thinking about how much I want this fragile thing between us to survive this. I hope he’s thinking the same thing.
“I need to get to you,” he says roughly.
I draw in a breath and spill my guts. “I really want you here,” I admit. “Even though I feel bad for Sunny and Marco.”
“Sunny and Marco will be fine.” I swear, his voice might as well be made of flint. “Liz gets here the day after tomorrow. They’ll make it on their own until then.”
I huff. “But what about the grilled cheese disaster and the shaving?”
“Door Dash and electric razors exist, you know. Besides, they effectively kicked me out,” he says with a dry chuckle. “They know I’m no good to them anymore anyway… I’m too worried about you.”
“Zach…” I hate that he’s worried. I hate that he thinks I can’t handle this on my own. But I’m also really glad he’s coming home sooner than expected. I honestly don’t know if I’m handling this on my own at all. “So, if you get on the standby flight, what time will you land?”
