Gratitude.
It wasn’t a foreign concept.
Jacob knew how to be gracious. He knew how to show the people around him how much he appreciated them. The problem wasn’t in understanding the idea, the problem came in actually following through.
For as long as he could remember, he’d been the man who helped others. He’d been the one on the receiving end of gratitude. No, it wasn’t an excuse, but he couldn’t help but acknowledge how strange it was to be stuck on the side of the line drawn in the sand where he had to accept help that was offered.
If he were honest, it wasn’t the act of saying thank you that bothered him. The way his skin itched whenever he had to accept help of any kind was what got in the way. He’d been so focused on feeling worthless and incapable that showing his thanks slipped his mind.
While he stared at yet another home-cooked meal that had been placed before him, he was quickly coming to a deeper realization. He was a terrible person. He’d said some terrible things a few days ago when Hallie had only been trying to help. He’d blurted the one thing he’d told himself he wouldn’t say.
He didn’t blame Hallie.
At least he knew that much.
He could never blame her for the situation he was in. If there had been anyone else in that field when he showed up, he would have done the same thing for them. The anger he had was easily directed at the unknown status of his future.
“Is something wrong with it?”
Jacob’s head snapped up and his eyes connected with Hallie’s. There was the most adorable frown tugging at her lips and the way she hovered like she’d steal the plate back to fix it almost made him smile. “No, nothing’s wrong,” he insisted.
Her frown deepened. “But you’re not eating.”
He shifted in his seat. It was still incredibly difficult to get comfortable but the way she was studying him had him fidgeting even more. “Will you be eating lunch with me?”
Did she think he didn’t want to share meals with her? That was something else that had changed. The first couple of times, she’d made herself scarce while he ate and he thought she was busy with something else. But now he knew better.
Hallie placed a hand on her hip, her expression impassive. “I’m busy.”
“Liar,” he muttered under his breath.
“What?” she scoffed.
He attempted to lift a shoulder, but he probably looked like he was twitching instead. “What do you have to do? You’re my glorified babysitter, right? And this place is as spotless as it was when you moved in. What could you possibly have that needs doing?” Jacob expected her to explode or get irritated with him. They’d been dancing around each other, trying to find their new normal and he wasn’t sure what to expect.
Finally, she sighed and moved across the room toward the casserole she’d prepared. Then she filled a plate and returned to sit across from him. He watched her carefully, but she didn’t meet his eyes.
Since their argument, he’d started to pay more attention to her. There really wasn’t much more he could do but watch as she busied herself with various things around the house. He’d been right. The cabin was spotless, and yet she managed to find things to clean, to tidy. It wasn’t just cooking and laundry. She even helped with caring for his horse and taking him out to the small pasture he had on the premises.
Anything to keep her distance.
Anything to avoid conversation.
He’d done that.
He’d put the wedge between them, and he didn’t know what to do to fix it.
“Thank you,” he murmured.
That had her eyes lifting to meet his. The surprise in her gaze gutted him. Yep, she hadn’t expected him to thank her. Andthat said a heck of a lot about the way he’d been treating their arrangement.
They ate in silence. Every time he tried to come up with something to say, he’d swallow down the words. Anything he might have brought up would sound trite.
After lunch, she’d suggested he take a nap. The thought sounded so good, he didn’t fight her on it. Heck, he might be a terrible patient, but he’d been put in his place well enough.
When he got up from his nap, the house was quiet. Hallie’s sweet perfume lingered in the air, indicating she was still close. She’d probably gone outside to feed his horse.
Hallie was a saint. She was doing so much more for him than anyone else might. Kai had made the suggestion that he take his horse over to Sagebrush so someone could take care of him. He’d nearly agreed but Hallie insisted she’d be fine.
