“What?”
He twisted his head around to look at her as she pulled up in front of his house. They sat there in the car for long moments before he sighed again. “I saw the flyer, Hallie. The deadline is in two days. Did you submit anything to that photography competition?”
She gaped. He knew about the competition? And he hadn’t said a thing. He hadn’t nagged her or pushed her into it. He’d waited for her to come to him. And she hadn’t. Granted, she still didn’t know if she even wanted to participate.
A small smile tugged at Jacob’s lips. “See? You and me? We’re both at a crossroads, right? When it comes to our passions. I have a long road ahead of me, but I don’t want you to get burned out standing by my side. I don’t want you to hover and nag. Yes, I want your support. Yes, I want you to be there for me when I ask. But I also want to continue getting to know the girl beneath the surface. I want to know your likes and dislikes. I want us to develop beyond a nurse and patient relationship. Does that make sense?”
Hallie nodded. “Yeah, actually. It does.”
He reached across the space dividing them and took her hand. “For the record, I have appointments scheduled for the next several weeks. I’m allowed to drive, so I’ll take myself.”
At that, she shook her head. “The first couple of appointments are going to wear you out. You can’t go alone.”
Jacob frowned, seeming to consider that. “Fine, I’ll let you take me for the first couple until I get a feel for the state I’ll be in post session. But after that, I want you to ease up a bit.” He reached up and traced a knuckle along her cheek. “I care about you, Hallie. I don’t want you to enable a dependency I might develop.”
“Would that be so bad, though?” she asked quietly.
“Yes. It’s not healthy.” Jacob studied her thoughtfully for a moment. “We’re our own people and we can complement each other, lean on each other, but we need to also know what we want and fight to keep our own identities.”
He sounded wise beyond his years. It made her look at him in a different light—as if there was more he wasn’t saying. They could be so good together and he didn’t want to risk it.
“Tell you what,” Jacob said quietly. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.”
She leaned closer as if against her will.
“I’m terrified that all this work is going to be for nothing. I don’t know if I’ll be able to compete like I used to. Heck, the doctor could come back and tell me that there are complications he hadn’t been aware of. I don’t want to put all this effort into fighting only to lose it. The rodeo is my whole life, Hallie.” That last part was said on a whisper.
“It’s okay to be scared,” she whispered back, forcing him to meet her eyes.
“Yeah, well from what I can tell, you’re just as scared as I am.”
She frowned. “I have faith you’re going to make it, Jacob. I don’t doubt you for a second.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m talking about you and your photography.”
Her blood ran cold, and she started to move back from him. Okay, now she understood what he was saying about maintaining a distance. Her photography was for her and her alone. This wasn’t about a career. She didn’t need photography to become her whole life even if she’d entertained the idea a handful of times over the course of the last couple of years.
“See? That right there. It’s written all over your face, Hallie. You haven’t brought it up, you haven’t submitted anything, you haven’t done what you have to do in order to follow that dream.”
“What if it’s not a dream?” She meant for the question to be sharp and pointed so he might second guess what he’d assumed to be true, but her voice came out timid and unsure.
“You can’t lie to me, Hallie. I see you out there nearly every day with that camera. I see the way you light up when you look at the pictures you’ve captured. You have an eye for it. But you’re scared.”
She looked away, frustrated that he’d managed to read her so easily and she didn’t have a leg to stand on if she wanted to argue.
Jacob blew out another breath. “So, this is what we’re going to do. I still want you to stay at my place until I get through thebrunt of my PT. I want to make sure that I can handle it, and I don’t end up in a heap of sore muscles unable to take care of myself.”
She snorted despite her sour mood.
“I’m going to make a plan that works for me,” he continued, “and do what I can to get back to where I want to be when it comes to competing. That plan is between my manager and me.”
Hallie lifted her eyes, hopeful. She wanted nothing more than for him to find his happy place again.
“And you are going to bite the bullet and submit one picture. It might not be lifechanging or anything, but if you can do that, then I’ll do my best to lean on you when I need my girlfriend most.” Jacob placed a calloused hand to her cheek and she leaned into his touch. “How does that sound?”
Hallie nodded. “That sounds like a good start.”
He leaned in then and kissed her sweetly. It wasn’t anything like the kiss they shared outside, but it spoke volumes. Jacob was trying. He was doing what he needed to get the life he wanted back with a few adjustments. Namely, a girlfriend.
