Sammie didn’t look like she believed a word Hallie said.
“I’m being serious,” Hallie insisted. “I heard him talking to his brother. He said that he wasn’t going to quit because he knows himself well enough to understand he’d resent me. I don’t know what his brother was saying, but Jacob made it clear he didn’t want me feeling like I’m sacrificing too much while he’s gone all the time.”
Understanding filled Sammie’s eyes followed by empathy. “Oh, hon. So, he’s just scared. Have you told him that you’re okay with that?Areyou okay with that?”
“Of course, I am. You know me. I love the whole rodeo life. I make it to every event within driving distance. I love cheering him on. Heck, if he asked me, I would pack a bag and go on the road with him. I…” Her face crumpled and another tear slipped free. “I love him enough to want to support him. I’m sure I could find a job on the road. Or something remote. It would be worth every sacrifice.” She knew she sounded desperate and borderline crazy, but that was the truth of it. She’d been in love with Jacob for years. And he’d given her a taste of what life could be like when he returned those feelings.
Except he didn’t return them fully. Not really.
“Have you told him that? All of it?”
Hallie shook her head.
“Why the heck not?” Sammie’s eyes darted away, and she took a step as if she planned on telling Jacob herself.
Panicked, Hallie grabbed her hand. “Don’t say anything.”
“Why?” Sammie demanded. “He can’t just break up with you without having a conversation. This is important.”
Hallie chewed on the inside of her cheek and finally admitted aloud why she couldn’t. “I’m the one who said I had feelings first. And you know how that turned out. He got hurt because he wanted to clear the air and I was being reckless.”
“Hallie—”
“No, let me finish. When I was helping him at his cabin, he said he wanted to try. And honestly, it was everything I wanted to hear. But I didn’t trust him. Not after he let me down the first time. My gut told me that he’d just let me down. Not on purpose, but because he was leaning on me already and maybe there was some trauma bonding taking place. But he convinced me. Sammie, he made me believe we could be something more.” Her voice cracked and she stared down at her feet. “But then I heard him on the phone with his brother and that sealed everything for me. He’s always going to choose his job. He’s never going to choose me. And that’s okay…”
“Hallie…” Sammie said softly, emphatically.
“It’sokay,” Hallie repeated if only to convince herself. “But I’m not going to make it easy. If he follows through with ending things between us, he’s going to deal with the consequences. He’s going to have to hear me out when I tell him what a fool he’s been.”
“If?” Sammie asked.
“What?”
“You said, ‘if’. Does that mean you think he mightnotbreak things off?”
Hallie shrugged. “I mean, I guess there’s always a chance he’ll come to the conclusion that he wants me there at his side. I have to have faith, right? I love him too much to expect the worst from him.” It was stupid, but that was the truth of it all. Hallie wanted Jacob to choose her, to tell her that they’d figure out a way to be together even if it meant having a long-distance relationship for a while.
“Right,” Sammie whispered. “There are plenty of families who travel for the rodeo when they compete. You wouldn’t exactly be an anomaly.”
“Exactly,” Hallie agreed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The longer Jacobheld off having that talk with Hallie the harder it became.
He couldn’t talk to her before the party she planned. That would be a slap in the face for all the work she was putting into it. He’d considered talking to her after the party but then Kai entered him into a competition in the next state over that had him busy with practice and then gone for a couple days before he came back to Rocky Ridge.
Today he was working with the Dennison twins to fine-tune some of the skills that had turned sluggish while he’d been unable to work. It felt good to have something to focus on because when he had down time, he was inundated with thoughts of Hallie and the inevitability of their breakup.
He didn’t want to walk away from what he had and that truth messed with his head more than he ever cared to admit. In fact, Jacob nearly convinced himself to sit down and come up with a plan where he could continue dating Hallie. But soon after, Kai brought him the schedule for the next year and with how often he was going to be out of town, he shot that idea from the sky.
This wasn’t just about Hallie struggling to be alone while he was out living his life. He’d seen the toll that distance could take on a relationship. People didn’t usually stick it out unless they had a strong foundation.
And he hadn’t exactly fostered a strong one to begin with based on the way he’d made it clear he wasn’t interested in her from the beginning.
Both of them would struggle and he had a strong feeling that they’d both end up hurt even more.
Then there was the idea that she could travel. Maybe she wouldn’t make it to every event, but he had more than enough money to help her get to some of them.
