I had thought we would talk first, but I found I needed him right now just as much as he seemed to need me.
His hands roamed my body slowly as we made our way to his room. Every touch felt like reassurance. Every kiss felt like an apology and a promise woven together. His hands traced my skin like he was memorizing it all over again. My fingers pressed into his broad shoulders, anchoring us to something solid.
Next thing I knew, I found myself fighting with the buttons of his shirt. I needed him right now.
I know it didn’t make any sense to feel the need for certainty yet cling to a man that was anything but certain. But my rational brain was losing control.
He pulled back, his eyes searching mine, making sure we were on the same page. We were on the same page, and I intended to prove it to him. I reached up onto my tiptoes and claimed his mouth.
The next thing I knew, we were stripping out of our clothes to remove all physical barriers. As I peeled his shirt off his shoulders, revealing his broad chest with dark hair spread across, I couldn’t help but smile up at my beast of a man.
He wrapped his arms around me and lay me back on the bed. His body covered mine, pressing me into the mattress. The pressure slowly pushed away all the panic that still lived in the back of my mind and centered me only on him, only on what was happening here.
He pulled my knee up, opening me wide as he positioned himself at my entrance. He held my gaze as he slowly pushed in, stretching me wide. “Ma Belle, you look so pretty taking my cock.”
I’d never had sex with someone who held as much control as he did. It was intoxicating, but right now I didn’t want that.
I just wanted to feel him consuming me.
“Please, Raph,” I managed to get out as I reached for him.
I pulled his face to mine. He returned the kiss, claiming my mouth. He licked into my mouth, sucking my lip into his mouthas he plunged deep inside of me. I moaned as I rocked into his meeting his thrust.
We move together in a way that feels less like escape and more like return. With each thrust, each time he plunged deeper inside of me, each time he claimed me, I felt the certainty I sought. Even without any real answers, my body was so sure of this, of him.
I gave over to sensations as we moved and kissed. My release was building deep inside, sending waves of pleasure all through me. Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, my body tensed, and I saw stars behind my eyes as pleasure surged through me.
Raph wrapped me up tighter and held on with a few last frantic thrusts before he spilled inside of me with a loud groan. He clung to me as he peppered my neck with kisses.
No one had ever made me feel the way he does. No one had ever made me feel so safe and cared for. I clung to him for a long time. He didn’t move either. We just lay there, him still inside of me, reveling in the connection we both so desperately needed.
When it was over, we lay tangled in the sheets, breath still uneven, skin warm and flushed. The room was dim, the light streaming in golden through the sheer curtains.
His arm was around me. My head rested against his chest.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The questions had been sitting in my chest since this morning. I traced a slow line along his collarbone. “Tell me about the rooms,” I whispered.
He went still beneath me. His hand moved into my hair, fingers threading through slowly.
“It was our room,” he said at last.
The word our landed heavily.
“My wife,” he continued, voice quieter than I’ve ever heard it. “Her name was Elise. We also had a daughter, Madeline.”
I pictured the auburn hair. The green eyes. The smile.
“She was seven months pregnant with our second when I left for a work trip.”
My stomach tightened as he continued. I may not know the story, but I knew the ending.
“I remember arguing with her about it, I didn’t want to go,” he said. “She told me to go. I told myself I would be back before anything happened.”
His voice stayed even.
“Madeline had been running a low fever that week. Nothing alarming. We were monitoring it.” He swallowed. “I received a call the second night of the trip. The fever had spiked. Elise was taking her to the emergency room.”
He paused.
