“I don’t have any siblings and I…well – I don’t talk to my family anymore, haven’t even seen them since I was about 18.”
She didn’t notice that Jules had stopped skating until she’d skated a few feet ahead and when she heard nothing in response, she glanced up to notice she was alone. When she spun around, Jules was frozen in and she looked so sad, almost like she was about to cry.
“It’s totally fine though,” Frankie said, skating back to her. “Really. I’m not still broken up about it or anything and it’s been a long time.”
“I asked you the night of the first game. I…I questioned you about your family and I didn’t know you -”
“Jules,” Frankie cut her off. “How could you know if I never told you?” She gave Jules a reassuring smile and a sort ofwhat could you have donelook as she shrugged.
“I’m so sorry, Frankie. You’ve done all of this for me, so I didn’t have to be alone on Christmas and meanwhile you’re…”
“Meanwhile I am having the best day.” She reached out for Jules' hand again and gave it a squeeze, a way to say it’s okay and I appreciate you. “And I would very much like it if you kept skating with me now, okay?”
Her pleading worked and Jules sadly smiled before pushing off on one foot again, resuming their easy pace as they wound their way around the pond, gliding past kids learning to skate for the first time and people gleefully showing off the new pairs of skates they’d gotten as a Christmas present.
“Can I ask why you don’t speak anymore? And it’s okay if you don’t want to answer.”
It was naturally the next question a person would ask and Frankie had expected it but she hadn’t dredged up any of this history in a long time. Thinking about it, giving people who turned their back on her more of her emotional headspace than they deserved, felt a little like clawing through dirt to find a buried secret.
“John and Maria Stevens weren’t too keen on their daughter wanting to spend her life playing a sport that would never give her a career.”
“They really didn’t support you playing hockey even though you were so talented?” Jules asked.
They were still holding hands and Frankie was grateful for the connection as she frowned and shook her head.
No, they didn’t care that she’d once been considered a future phenom for Canada, a star athlete who everyone said had undeniable prowess on the ice and their support only extended so far.
The only reason they’d let her go away to an American college to play hockey in the first place was because she’d received a scholarship. They didn’t have to pay a single dime for the education and she was out of their hair.
No longer the reason for why they couldn’t go to parties with their neighbours or friends from the church that Frankie never went to on Sunday’s, why they couldn’t go on vacation, why they couldn’t afford a new car.
The reason was always her.
Frankie has a game two hours away. Frankie has double practice this week. Frankie’s registration fees this season mean we can’t afford Christmas presents.
She resented her parents for making her feel like she was such a burden but she was still grateful that they'd allowed her to play and develop, even if she never understood why if they didn’t see a future for her in the sport. But without giving her what they had , she wouldn’t be where she was right now.
“I think they were less thrilled about the fact that I’m a lesbian. It was a real nail in the coffin type of thing when I told them over the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college and that was the end of it.”
“So you’re uh,you’re…”
“Someone who dates women?” Frankie smirked then bit her lip and chuckled. “We’re more common than people think.”
It wasn’t a secret but she didn’t shout it from the rooftops. Her social media gave nothing away, there was no rainbow flag emoji in her bio, and only a deep dive into women’s hockey lore a selected few dedicated fans had uncovered over the years would reveal it to the public.
She hadn’t deliberately kept it from Jules but there hadn’t been a moment to outright say, hi, nice to meet you, I’m a lesbian. And now it was out there, hanging in the crisp December air between them.
“Cool, yeah, that’s… that’s good, it’s great. Good for you,” Jules mumbled, dipping her head to hide a shy grin but she immediately glanced back up at Frankie, her eyes wide, brows knit. “I don’t mean that about your parents not accepting you. That’s awful, I’m - I’m sorry about…that.”
She was flustered, cheeks still tinged with pink, her smile nervous as she stumbled over her words and it was so endearing that by this point she could’ve been reading out numbers from the phone book and Frankie would have been just as captivated by it.
“Thank you,” Frankie said, softly squeezing the hand she was still holding. “And it’s okay, I got over it a long time ago.”
They continued their journey around the pond, dodging speedy teens without concern for anyone but themselves as they raced across the ice, and then Jules let go of Frankie’s hand.
She missed the contact and the warmth from it immediately but Jules suddenly seemed inspired, the grin on her face evidence of that as she turned on the edges of her skate blades and spun around to skate backwards just as Frankie had done earlier.
“So…it’s only fair that you tell me about your dating life since I told you about mine,” she said, hips swaying with each outward push of her inside edge.
