“Have you spoken to Annie and Jane?” I asked.
“Not yet,” she said. “It doesn’t help that Annie is popping them out at a rate of one per year though.”
A small chuckle escaped my lips. It was true. Annie had just had her third child with her husband after swearing blind she would never do it again. She swore blind after the first one, and then again after the second one.
“And Jane and Dimitri just got engaged, they’ll probably start trying soon,” she added, shrugging her shoulders.
Lilly had always been the one out of all of us that had wanted to be a mom the most. In fact, it wasn’t that long ago that Stormy had also sworn blind she would never have kids.
“But go! Go!” Stormy insisted. “Go do what you need to do, we can talk about this later.”
I nodded at her. “Lilly will be happy for you,” I said.
“I know,” Stormy replied sadly. “But she’ll also be sad.”
I nodded at Stormy, because I knew she was right. Lilly would put on a brave face, she would host the baby shower and be there at the birth if she could. She would love that baby to bits and be the first to offer her babysitting services, but under all that, there would be a part of her that was devastated.
“We need to talk about this later,” I said to Stormy, I didn’t want her to think I was rushing out of this big moment.
She nodded at me and gave me a big smile and a thumbs-up.
“You’re going to be such a great mom,” I said to her.
“I know!” she said with a smile. “My star sign told me so.”
I ran out the house and climbed into my car. I knew exactly what needed to be done.
But it wasn’t going to be easy . . .
CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
“Matt!” I burst into his apartment the second he opened his door and walked all the way to the other end of the room as if it was a stage and I was ready to give a monologue. Which in a way, I was. I’d been practicing it over and over in my head the entire drive.
“What’s wrong?” Matt asked, moving towards me.
I held my hand up. “No. Stay there. I need to tell you something.”
“What? You’re worrying me.” He looked genuinely concerned.
“The thing is . . .” I started, ready to spew out all the words that I’d been rehearsing in my head. “The thing is, this isn’t what I want.”
“What isn’t?”
“This. Us. You and I.” I started pacing the room now. “Oh God, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, because it’s all I’ve wanted for so long, and now that I have it, it couldn’t be more wrong for me if I tried.”
“Sorry, uh . . . what are you saying?” Matt folded his arms tightly.
“It’s not you, Matt. It’s me. I’ve changed. Someone changed me for the better and now I no longer want what I thought I did. I want something else.”
“What do you want?”
“Alex,” I said. “I want him.”
“Uh . . .” Matt unfolded his arms and the look on his face was pure and utter shock. “But I thought . . . I mean, you said at the engagement party and . . . you said it!” His voice had an edge of panic to it.
“And at the time, I thought I meant it.”
“You thought?” He sounded angry now.
