“Let’s just get you loose, shall we?” He sounded determined, and fiddled with my hair until he finally managed to free me.
“Thank God,” I exclaimed loudly as I felt the tension on my head relax. Alex then pulled me up so forcefully and quickly that I smooshed into his chest. I lost my breath for a moment as the wind was knocked out of me by his solid frame. Instinctively, I placed my hands on his shoulders and held myself in place. I pressed myself into him a little, even though I knew I shouldn’t. But his body was hard and firm and he smelt good and was so nice and kind and fun and I was a little warm and fuzzy around the edges because of all the wine. My inhibitions were down, my morals slightly looser and there was something so romantic about this mist all of a sudden. Alex slipped his hand around my back and held me in place. It didn’t feel like a very friendly hand, though, not the kind of hand that helps friends to their feet and stops them from falling backwards. It felt like a totally different kind of hand. The kind that cups a woman’s back possessively as if she were theirs. The kind of hand that was both firm and reassuring and frightening in the way it made my knees weak and mind swirl with thoughts that I was sure I wasn’t meant to be having. His hand slipped down a little lower and gripped me tighter.
“Mmmm.” I let out the tiniest breathy moan, which I actually hadn’t meant to make.What the hell was I doing?I didn’t know. We were meant to be getting over our exes together, not getting into each other. This was crossing a line. A big green, ribbon line. A line that was firmly placed around our fingers. I could almost feel the ribbon tightening on my finger like an anaconda, as if it knew that this moment was happening and it was telling me to stop. I pulled away from him quickly.
“Sorry,” I suddenly said. “We should find our rooms.” I started making my way through the mist once more. It was a little thinner now and we found my room first.
I turned to look at Alex before opening the door. A part of me didn’t want this evening to end, or the moment to be over. “Goodnight, I guess?” It was definitely a question and I paused and waited for the answer.
“Good night,” he said back to me. There was an awkward lull in the conversation. I reached for the door handle pointedly, hoping it would make him say something to stop me from opening it. Only he didn’t.
“Okay. Good night,” he said.
“Good night.” I said it again, giving him one last chance to tell me not to open the door. The ribbon on my finger tightened and I shook my head to myself, trying to dislodge all that was running through my mind right now. I finally opened the door and without looking back at him, slipped inside and pulled it closed. I waited, my back to the door, and listened intently at the sounds of his footsteps getting further and further away from me.
I sighed, and a feeling of emptiness rushed in as I stood there all alone in my room looking around. I started taking my clothes off and was just about to climb into bed when my phone beeped. I reached for it. I was sure it was one of my friends, I’d been sending them the odd message here just so they didn’t worry. But it wasn’t. My heart started beating faster.
Alex:I forgot to say thank you
I typed back.
Val:For what?
Alex:This has been one of the best days of my life.
I smiled to myself, almost giddy.
Val:Me too.
Alex:Sleep tight.
Val:You too.
Alex:Looking forward to tomorrow.
Val:Me too.
Alex:Sweet dreams.
Val:Thanks.
Alex:If you get scared, you know where I am . . .
I sat up a little straighter. Wait.Was this an invitation to join him?I lowered my fingers to the screen and was just about to start typing something flirty back when the green ribbon caught my attention. Rule number one went running through my mind:don’t jump into another relationship . . . feelings are all over the place . . . easy to think you’ve developed feelings for someone else . . . just transference . . . not real . . . take a break from relationships . . . focus on yourself for a while.Clearly, I was letting myself run away a bit here and needed to reel myself in. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling right now was even real.Wait, what was I feeling?I brought my fingers back down and typed something else entirely, something that every part of my body was telling me not to . . .
Val:I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.
Alex:I know.
Val:See you in the morning.
Alex:Can’t wait.
Alex:Good night, Val.
Val:Good night, Alex.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
