“Unless . . .” Alex started speaking and then paused.
“Unless, what?” I asked quickly.
“We could all go for another drink first, I mean . . . if you . . . uh—” Alex said.
“I’ve already had a drink,” Alessandreeeeee said coolly.I hated her.This trashy French temptress that was hanging all over Alex like a pair of crotchless panties on a washing line.
“I’m okay, thanks,” George said.
“Okay, then.” Alex looked over at me. “You heard them.” He smiled at me. It was a large, broad toothy grin that seemed more like the kind a court jester might give.
“Coooooool.” I really extended that word. “I guess we better be going inside then.” I stumbled over the words awkwardly, my mouth feeling drier by the second.
“Sure. Us too,” Alex said. Alessandreeeeee sighed and tapped her impatient high-heeled foot. I wondered if it would be rude to step on her little pink toes?
“Good!” I said, and then did something fairly cringeworthy and horrific. I shot Alex two thumbs-ups.
“Yes. Great!” Alex shot me a thumbs-up too and I turned and started walking into my room, George hot on my heels.
“So, see you at breakfast,” I heard Alex say from behind me and I turned.
“Sure.”
“Table for four?” He gave me another corny thumbs-up and I did the same again. “Or as you guys say,quatre.” And then he burst out laughing. A strange laugh that seemed more like the kind you make under dire circumstance; like you cut your finger off in a woodwork accident and land up laughing nervously when you see it lying at your feet. No wait, no one laughs when they cut off a finger,what was I thinking?Shit, I wasn’t thinking.
I looked over at George.Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?Could I back out of this now, or had I taken it too far already? Of course I had, curious George was now walking around in my hotel room looking at things.
I shut the door behind me, not before looking down the corridor one more time. When I did, Alessandreeeeee giggled as she smacked Alex on the bum. I think I tasted vomit in my mouth.
“So . . .” I turned to George who was sitting on the bed expectantly and,Oh dear Lord, the man had started unbuttoning his shirt.
“A DRINK!?” I screamed and rushed over to the minibar, bending down to get something out of it. “Yes, a drink will definieeeee—”
I jumped when I felt a hand onmybum. It felt so foreign and unexpected andwrong. Alex hadn’t jumped at Alessandreeeeee’s hand, though. In fact, I bet he’d liked it. Loved it.
“Oooh, uh . . .” I took a few big steps back. George was peeling his shirt off now and advancing towards me. He had a hairy chest, I didn’t mind that, the thing I did mind was the shiny gold medallion that was nesting in it like a buried treasure. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It glinted and glistened in the overhead lights and now it was absolutely all I could see. George didn’t have a face, or arms, or legs anymore. George was just a big gold medallion coming towards me.I should never have brought him back to my room.
“You’re so sexy,” he whispered seductively as he moved towards me like a sleazy Casanova.Oh God, oh God, oh God. What was I doing?
“Mmmmm.” I nodded and kept walking backwards. He kept advancing, he tried to look me in the eye and send me smoldering, sexy vibes—at least I think that was what he was doing. It was all so confusing and suddenly I didn’t quite feel like I was even there. I was with Alex, imagining what he was doing. He was probably knee-deep in Alessandreeeeee already. I wondered what kind of things she would be saying to him.
“Oui, oui. S’il vous plaît. Je voudrais une grande baguette.”
Or whatever else she would scream out while banging her sweaty fists on the wall, since I’d let Alex in on the secrets of fist-banging.
“Your lips . . .” Casanova was upon me now, mere inches from my face. All husky voiced and dreamy, sexy-eyed. “So succulent and juicy,” he continued.
“Mmmm,” I mumbled, trying to hide the sheer cringe that I was experiencing right now.
And then his hands were on my face and his lips were on mine. His lips were so moist and big, and they covered the entire bottom half of my face. His tongue was so large and wet. He was not a good kisser. I bet Alessandreeeeee was a good kisser.
“Shall we get a little more comfortable?” George pulled away and led me to the bed.
The moment had come! This was it. He sat down on the bed and then he pulled me onto his lap. This time I definitely tasted vomit in my mouth. I bet Alessandreeeeee wasn’t tasting vomit right now. I bet she was tasting something else entirely—
“I’m sorry!” I launched myself off George like a rocket. “I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked, looking totally shocked.
