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“Love you, Ray. Have a good day,” I said before rolling over and going back to sleep.
When I woke up a couple of hours later, the kids and I began our typical Saturday routine of attending dance class and basketball practice. I had brought a romance novel to read during the practices, while the kids listened to music.
I sent Ray random texts throughout the day but did not hear back from him. He didn’t text about lunch, so I figured he was too busy rescuing people or putting out a fire somewhere. When nightfall came and there was still no word from him, I began to worry.
That evening, the kids were playing video games in Max’s room. At 7:12 that night, I heard a hollow knock on the door. I squinted through the peephole and saw one of Ray’s fire crew, Pete, at the door. My heart raced. When I opened the door, Pete wasn’t wearing his usual goofy grin. His eyes were red and puffy. “I’m sorry, Cass,” he said.
There was a pounding in my ears as the blood rushed through my body. I felt as though it was all moving down to my feet, and I was going to pass out.
“There was an accident. Ray went up to the second floor, and a beam collapsed and hit him. He didn’t make it. I’m so sorry.”
I screamed.
Everything was a blur. All I felt was a pain and emptiness inside like I had never experienced before. I felt as if someone had ripped my heart right out of me and squeezed it until it burst like a water balloon.
The funeral was two weeks later. Ray’s sisters arranged it. The reception was at the home of Lucas and his husband. I wasn’t going to attend. All I wanted to do was crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. Lucas urged me to go along with Ray’s sisters. Everyone exchanged stories and talked about pranks Ray had played, but they also spoke of his heroism and how he had wanted to make everyone feel safe and loved. I noticed Ray’s other son was nowhere to be seen. I shook my head.
Before the kids and I were about to leave, Lucas called after me. “Cass, wait.”
He rushed over and hugged me close.
“There’s something I need to give you,” he said as he reached into his pocket. “Dad was planning to give this to you soon. He was trying to organize a weekend getaway.” He pulled out a dark-blue velvet box.
I started to cry again.
Lucas flipped open the box. Inside was a platinum engagement ring with an aquamarine stone as the centerpiece and tiny diamonds surrounding it.
I thought back to the day we were sitting on the couch and he was drilling me about jewelry, and how the next day Lucas had appeared and asked me random questions. Despite my pain, I smiled at the memory. I sniffed. “I would have said yes,” I told Lucas.
He nodded. “I know, and I would have planned an off-the-chart wedding,” he said.
I accepted the ring box and held it close to my heart. We hugged again and said goodbye.
Chapter Eighteen
There is a hollowness in my heart,
A void in my soul.
Words,
Thoughts,
Actions,
Don’t matter.
There is no way to fill it
Or to feel
When the one you love
Is gone.
Epilogue
Eighteen months later
