CHAPTER 20
I hadn’t left the estate. Instead, I had parked my car behind a huge bush and was waiting for the cover of darkness so I could sneak out and look at the willow tree, up close. I could see it from where I was sitting. It was huge and impressive, and watching its leaves blowing back and forth in the breeze was really quite mesmerizing. But I was fucking bored, too, and so, to pass the time, I started typing up one of the letters.
23 June, 1948
Dearest Edith,
The world around us doesn’t want us to be together, and I say we should find ourselves our own world, or create a new one, just for us. Because this one is wrong.
If I close my eyes, I can imagine what it would be like. In our world, we’d be able to walk hand-in-hand through the streets together. We could sit on the same bench to feed the pigeons in the park, ride the same bus and be free to love each other. In our world, the sun would always shine (because I know you hate winter), it would always be spring, so that I could pick as many daisies as you want.
In this turbulence that surrounds us, you and I need to find our own special places, little worlds within this one where we can be together, where we write our own laws and live by our own rules . . .
You, me, forever.
My fingers glided over my keyboard as I finished the first letter and then moved on to the next one.
1 July, 1948
I’ve found it. I’ve found the perfect place for us. Under the willow tree on the banks of the river. No one will find us there. It can be our own magical world. Let me know when you can meet me there. I know it’s getting more difficult to sneak out, and I’m sorry things at home with your father have been so trying. I wish I could be there for you and hold you and make it all better. I’ll be waiting for you under the willow tree tonight. I hope you can make it . . .
I stopped typing and looked at the tree again. When I’d first seen it, it had looked like a normal tree: green leaves and bark. Nothing more. But now I knew better. That wasn’t just a tree, it had been their own private universe where they could escape and be themselves. A place where they could shut the world out, a sanctuary for their love to be whatever it wanted to be. It dawned on me . . . the sheer injustice of it all, being told who you were and were not able to love. This place was so special to them. And all this made me want to see that engraving more than ever.
