CHAPTER 49
I couldn’t sleep. Ten minutes of lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, was proof of that. I felt unsettled, for so many reasons. At least I knew what they were, though:
1. I was so attracted to Mike. More than attracted. There was something about him. Since the moment I’d laid eyes on him, it had been as if my body knew something about him that my heart and mind wasn’t quite aware of yet.
2. I felt guilty about lying to him.
3. I felt desperate to write this book.
The last two were in direct conflict with each other, and, together, were in even greater conflict with the first.
I was just about to get out of bed when a knock on the door disturbed me.
“Who is it?” I called out. There was a small pause.
“Me,” the voice returned.
I reached for the door handle, but stopped myself before opening it. I took a deep breath, hoping that all the unsettledness wouldn’t show on my face. I twisted the door handle and swung open the door. There he was.
We looked at each other for a moment, zoning in on each other’s eyes, and suddenly my heart was beating in my throat again, a now familiar feeling that I’d only ever experienced around him. His eyes drifted down to my mouth, and then to my neck, as if he could see my heart beating in it, but, when they kept on drifting, it dawned on me where they were going. I wasn’t wearing a bra, and the thin, white T-shirt Iwaswearing was probably accentuating that fact.
He took a step forward, straight into my room. He kicked the door shut with his foot and I knew exactly what was going to happen.The inevitable.Since the moment we’d first seen each other, this destiny seemed to have been etched in some stone somewhere. A cosmic rock where our future was worked out and written down for us. He took my face between his hands and kissed me.
He pressed his body into mine and I could feel he was hard; I wanted to touch him,again.I slipped my hand down his pants and wrapped my fingers around him. His whole body tensed and he reached out and gripped my shoulders. I watched his face as his eyes closed and he threw his head back, with a bang, against the wooden paneling on the wall. I kept going, his breathing becoming faster and faster. He bit down on his bottom lip and then, suddenly, his eyes flipped open. He shook his head violently as he reached down and pulled my hand away.
“Stop,” he whispered. “You need to stop.”
I smiled at him and nodded.
“Fuck, Becca, do you know how crazy you make me feel?” Without any warning, he reached between my legs and pushed them open. He pulled me in for another kiss, walking me backwards across the room while his hands slid over me. It was hard to walk like that, hard to feel my legs as his kiss deepened and his fingers slipped into my panties.
“Crazy good, or crazy bad?” I whimpered, stupidly.
“Now, that is the question, isn’t it?” He planted hot, wet kisses down my neck and then all the way up to my ear.
“So what’s the answer?” I threw my head back, feeling dizzy as his hand moved under my T-shirt and his palm covered my breast. It was slightly cold against my warm skin and I moaned loudly.
“I’m still trying to work that out,” he said, still walking me across the room.
“Where are you taking me?” I moaned again as his fingers traced circles around my breast.
He stopped what he was doing and then looked at me seriously. “Where do you want me to take you?” he asked, a wicked, naughty, dirty smile on his face.
I smiled back at him and then looked around the room. “I guess the bed is usually the preferred choice.”
His smile grew. “Bed it is.” He continued to push me towards it.
“But that doesn’t mean it should beourpreferred choice.” I stopped him.
“Really?” His pupils were dilated, eating up the green part, but, in the middle of the black, there seemed to be a spark. A flame. A small, bright diamond shining back at me.
In that moment, I took charge. I put my hands on his chest and started walkinghimbackwards. I knew exactly where I wanted him. The back of his knees hit the chair and he stopped.
“Sit,” I whispered, firmly.
“You are trouble, Becca. You know that, right?”
I nodded and climbed on to his lap, straddling him. I sat straight up and looked down at him as I pulled my shirt off and tossed it to the floor. I was completely exposed and his eyes drifted down to where I wanted them to go. He pulled me closer and buried his head between my breasts, trailing his tongue over them and then up my neck. I arched my back as he gripped my hips and slid me across his lap.
Things became frenzied, after that. Nothing followed in any logical, rational order, as we pulled at each other’s clothes, hair, dug our fingers into flesh and kissed each other, completely missing mouths as it all built to the moment where, finally, we were both completely naked.
“Condom,” I managed to whisper in a tiny, lucid moment.
He gave a small chuckle and looked into my eyes. “This time, I’ve got them.”
