Page 3 of Truly, Madly, Like Me

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“I went to the meeting with the lawyer the other day,” I suddenly said, sharing something real with her.

She paused. “That must have been difficult. What happened?” I sensed true sympathy in her voice this time.

“Well, I almost plunged to my death in an elevator afterwards, that’s what happened.”

I heard another sigh. I could tell she had now gone from feeling sympathy, to something else. She didn’t believe me. She was always accusing me of blowing things out of proportion. I’d once had the courage to share with her how I’d felt as a child growing up. How I’d felt utterly worthless, always standing in her perfect shadow. She’d said I was being dramatic and exaggerating.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said rather flatly.

I peered into my bag, and the white envelope stared back at me. I hadn’t opened it yet; I guess almost dying in the elevator and then having my entire life blow up had kind of put it on the back burner.

“He left me an envelope though. It’s white.”

“What’s inside?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“You should open it.” She sounded so rushed. My sister had always been the one person who still made me feel like a nobody, despite my followers telling me that I wasn’t. Well, in light of recent events, maybe she’d been right all along.

“Kyle broke up with me,” I moaned into the phone.

There was another pause. She’d never really liked Kyle. She’d once called him a narcissistic user. But that was only because she didn’t understand the nature of our relationship. It’s more complicated when you’re in the public eye and people turn to you for motivation and inspiration.

“Look, I’m sorry he broke up with you and you lost all your . . .friends.Although it’s not really a surprise—I’ve always said that guy was no good. But I really don’t have time for this now, Frances. I have a parent–teacher conference and then I have to make cookies for the bake sale so I can’t deal with you now.”

Deal with me?

I nodded. I could see that speaking to my sister was pointless, it wouldn’t give me what I was looking for, even though I didn’t really know what I was looking for. I momentarily thought of phoning my mother, but I had no idea where she might be. Cruising the Caribbean? The Greek islands? Who knew? I was happy she’d found loveagainand was cruising the world with him—Dan, the retired dentist. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, still fighting back tears.

“I really need to go!” she said again.

“Sure,” I said. “Give Melissa a hug for me—” The line went dead. She’d hung up on me. I looked down at the phone in my hand and as I did, the notifications on the screen started screaming at me again. I shoved the phone under my pillow, hiding it from sight, and reached for the nearest thing I could find to occupy my hands. A newspaper. God, I don’t think I’d held a newspaper in, well, forever.Did they still make newspapers?With paper and ink. Doesn’t everyone get their news from BuzzFeed?

I flipped the paper open. It was so stiff, cumbersome and hard to handle; why would anyone want to get their news from this? Why would anyone want to turn pages when they could scroll? I flipped randomly, peeping every now and then at my pillow which was lighting up with notifications, like dominoes. They came fast and steady, one after the other. The pillow was vibrating now, as if it was possessed.

“Oh my God, oh my God!” I turned the pages faster in panic, in an attempt to sweep it all away. With each notification my heart beat faster because I knew the whole world was turning on me. I couldn’t bear the feeling. It crawled over my skin—sickly and sweaty and moist. I gave the paper a massive swat and that’s when I saw it. The headline grabbed me immediately. I leaned in and started reading.

Quietest Town in South Africa

For most of us, seeing that no-signal sign on our phones is our worst nightmare. But for the 789 residents of Springdorp in the Karoo, having no phone signal is a part of everyday life. In fact, the residents of this small town have never had cell-phone signal before. Let alone Wi-Fi.

“What?” I widened my eyes and pulled the article right up to my face.

The town of Springdorp and the 100 square kilometer radius that surrounds the town, is a radio quiet zone, just one of a few places in the world like it. The reason for the radio silence is its proximity to ASO, the African Skies Observatory, home to the biggest radio astronomy observatory in Africa. Signals from cell phones, Wi-Fi and even from the radio interfere with the sensitive equipment as it listens to exploding stars on the farthest reaches of the known universe.

Taking a few moments to digest this information, I laid the newspaper down on the table and straightened it out.

But residents say they don’t mind the quiet. In fact, they wouldn’t want it any other way. They love the peace and tranquility that the town affords them, which really gives them an opportunity to get to know their neighbors. “People here make real connections,” one resident said. “This is our little paradise and we wouldn’t change a thing about it.”

I stopped reading and sat back in my chair. A strange feeling washed over me in slow and steady swells. It was so hard to describe that I bet my mood-tracking app didn’t even have a category for it! The feeling started at my head, ran the length of my back and legs and then sort of trickled out of my toes. Each swell became stronger and stronger until it hit me all at once like a massive wave. A tsunami of sudden understanding.

I jumped to my feet.This was what I needed.A place to fully escape my cell-phone hell and switch off. A place where I could be completely anonymous. A place to hide from everything that was going on in my life right now! A place where the beeping insults and hateful hashtags wouldn’t follow me. A place where I would no longer be tormented by #Kaige,yes, that was their ship name. They had only been a ship for seventy-two hours, and had already been ship-named. I felt nauseous just thinking about it. I’d once tried to ship us, and all I’d come up with was #Krankie. Their ship name was better than ours and,oh God, that gave me such a pain in the ribs.

“Yes!” I said, rushing over to the phone that I’d wanted to avoid. I would rent a car, and I would drive to this town and that’s where I would take refuge until all of this was over. Until they got bored of watching me cling to the bonnet of a car, or crying into the screen, snotty bubbles coming out of my nose, and they moved on to the next big story. And then maybe in a week, a few weeks, maybe even a month, I could re-emerge and #reinvent myself on social media as someone completely new. Someone different. Better! Like a butterfly from a cocoon, I could step out with new, shiny wings. I could start afresh. Maybe I would delete my old accounts and start new ones. Maybe I would start a podcast and dye my hair like an eGirl and do funny sketches on TikTok. I could be funny! The possibilities were infinite and for the first time since leaving that elevator, I felt a little bolt of hope.

CHAPTER 2

“I’m sorry,” I said looking down at the car, trying to hide my obvious disgust. “Is this theonlycar you have?”