“What kind of explanations?” I asked.
Samirah looked at me expectantly, leaning forward, as if she was waiting for me to have a profound epiphany of sorts. Well, if she was waiting for me to have some kind of massive, spiritual experience, she was sorely mistaken. There were no spiritual experiences to be had here; I had learned that a few days ago in the desert with the snake, and then again while lying on a stupid purple mat.
“Don’t you think,” she started again, “that you coming here has been a series of strange coincidences that can’t really be explained by rational laws?”
“Huh?”
“You got stuck in an elevator, and because of that a series of things happened that led you to come here, and then you landed up with a dog you never intended to keep. And then while you were here, it seemed that something was conspiring to keep you here. Don’t you think when you look back on the events of the last several days, that something inexplicable has been at work?”
“I don’t believe in stuff like that,” I said dismissively, even though I’d had that exact same thought a few times, but for some reason, didn’t really want to admit to it.
“Well, I believe in that stuff.” She sounded a little angry now. “I believe that in life, the unexpected happens and when it does, it can change us profoundly and change the course of our lives. It can move us to places we never imagined we would go, but then find we belong there.”
“And why do you believe that?”
“Because it happened to me,” she said, her voice taking on a small and fragile tone.
“What did?” I asked, my voice now matching hers because I could sense a shift in the atmosphere in the room. The air had taken on a heaviness, a thickness that was loaded with something I didn’t understand yet. And even Harun could sense it, because he tilted his head up and looked over at her too.
She pulled her gloves off and tossed them onto one of the counters. “Seven years ago, I lost my husband in a car accident.”
“What? You were married before Faizel?” That was hard to imagine, because they seemed perfect for each other, like they’d been together forever.
She nodded solemnly. “The driver of the other car was texting and didn’t see the traffic light. Came out of the blue and smashed into the driver’s side.”
“Oh my God, that’s . . . I’m so sorry.”
She forced a small smile. “We were planning on having a baby.” Her voice was soft now. “I was stuck in the car with him for three hours before they managed to get us out. He was dead that entire time.”
I gasped. Put my hands over my face and mouth. “That’s horrific.”
She nodded. “I was so angry after that. I was consumed by it, all the time. Every time I saw someone on their phone, every time I saw someone not looking where they were going, someone driving badly, this rage used to bubble up inside me. I was angry with the entire world around me.” She paused and took a deep breath. “The guy was checking his Facebook feed when he killed my husband. He killed my husband because he wanted to see how many people liked his post.”
I lowered my head in shame. I’d done that before. “Where’s the guy now?”
“In jail. I thought that would bring me closure and make me less angry. Which it did, but then the anger gave way to something much worse: fear. The fear was harder to live with than the anger. I became terrified of everything. I stayed at home, I stopped driving, I was too afraid to leave the house and go outside. Suddenly, the world was this terrifying place and I didn’t think I could survive in it.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“I never thought I would find love again. I thought I was going to be alone and in my house forever . . . and then I came here.”
“How did you hear about it?”
“There was a story about it on the news, and when I heard about it, this place with no phones that was small enough to walk around, it sounded exactly what I needed. And more than that, when I heard about it, I just had this feeling that I had to come here. I can’t explain it.”
I nodded. I could relate. I’d had that same feeling when I’d read about it in the paper, but I wasn’t going to say that out loud.
“At first, when I came here, I was definitely running away from my old life. But after a while, I stopped running and I settled down, and that’s when my entire life changed. I met Faizel and got a second chance at love that I never thought I would ever get. And now I’ve got not one, but two babies on the way at age forty! Do you know how hard it is to fall pregnant at this age, let alone with twins? It was all a miracle.”
I stayed silent for a while and considered what she’d said. “I don’t think it’s like that for me,” I finally concluded, breaking the silence. “I don’t think I’m meant to be here. There’s nothing for me here.”
Samirah shot me a look. “What about friends?”
“Are we friends?” I asked.
She nodded. “We’re definitely getting there, don’t you think?” There was a strange beat between us and then she took a deep breath. “I haven’t told anyone that story in a very, very long time.”
I looked at her and a tear trickled down my cheek, I was so incredibly touched. I reached out and spontaneously pulled her into my arms for a hug. This was the second hug I’d given in days, and probably one of a few real hugs I’d given in years, other than hug emojis.
