“You’re huge, babe! Massive. Everyone’s talking about you. Everyone wants to know where you are . . . Where are you?”
“I . . . you . . . it’s . . . uh . . .” I didn’t know what to say to him, this panic had seized me so suddenly and quickly that it made my rib cage tighten. “I’ve got to go!” I hung up, my breathing hard and fast. As soon as I did, the phone started ringing in my palm. Over and over again. I glanced over at Harun, who looked like he was about to launch at the thing and take it out of my hand. And then the slew of messages started.
Kyle:Answer the phone.
Kyle:I can see you’re still online.
Kyle:Pick it up.
Kyle:We have so much to discuss.
Kyle:We need to figure out how to leverage this disappearance of yours into more content and figure out the best way of bringing you back for all our followers. So many brands want to partner with us already.
Kyle:
This is what we’ve always wanted. We’ve never had so many followers before.
Never had so many followers before . . .?
“I can’t believe this,” I said, half under my breath to Harun. He moved closer to me and headbutted my stomach. I put my hand on his head, my mind swirling. My body felt prickly and strange and ready for fight or flight. I was shaking.
This was all too much. This was all too overwhelming. And Kyle . . .Had he always been like this?Talked like this? Had every single real-life event been turned into an opportunity to grow followers and create content? Did he even care about me? Had he ever cared about me? I turned to Harun.
“We have to go!” I said hurriedly. My phone was still buzzing in my palm and I scrambled to turn it off.
“Get in the car.” I turned to Harun and pointed. He listened to me.
I grabbed my phone and threw it onto the passenger seat and then closed Harun’s door. I jumped in, wheel-spun the car around and pointed it back towards the town. Back towards the place we’d just come from. I looked into the rear-view mirror and gave Harun a little nod. He barked back at me and then I put my foot flat on the accelerator and the blue cheese sprang to life.
“Yes!” I laughed as the car flew forward so fast that it felt like we were barely touching the ground. God, I was so thankful for this car right now. I glanced at my phone, the signal had died and I finally felt like I could breathe again.
CHAPTER 44
It was all so clear. Crystal clear. I had never felt so certain about anything before, even though I was currently experiencing the most uncertain time in my life. A time of tumultuousness and strange changes, but still, amongst all that noise, there seemed to be this silent sense of eerie calm that told me, unequivocally, that I was doing the right thing. I parked my car outside Samirah’s and knocked on the door frantically. I wanted to get this out as fast as I could, in case a part of me took it back. She opened the door and the verbal dam broke through the wall.
“I’m back!” I started. “I drove out of town, and then my phone started buzzing and beeping and didn’t stop and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Not metaphorically, but literally like my throat was about to close. It was just too much. It was so loud and bright and Harun was barking and I was panicking. And so, I’m back. Standing here on your doorstep.” I took a breath. Samirah watched me in a way that told me she was waiting for me to get to the point. I cut right to the chase. “The assistant job? I want it. I don’t know anything about being a vet’s assistant though and, until now, haven’t owned a pet, and I didn’t even like Harun at first, but now I like him, and I think I can like other dogs too and I can learn. You can teach me, I’ll do whatever . . . uh, except I’m not good with poop, but I’ll do all the other stuff. And I’m going to find myself a little place here and stay a while. I don’t know how long, I can’t promise forever or anything, but for now I’m here.” She smiled and I pointed a finger at her. “Andno, it’s not because of all those things you said to me. I’m not suddenly having some great spiritual awakening and realizing that I belong here. I’m just here. For now. And I’m on your doorstep. Looking for a job.”
She tilted her head to the side like Harun might do. It was a curious look. She was trying to make sure I was being genuine and this wasn’t some wild flash in the pan. Some spontaneous idea I was having that I would retract in a few minutes. And I didn’t blame her, because to the untrained eye, this might have seemed like utter madness, but it was actually the only thing that made any sense to me right now.
Samirah kept looking at me silently for a while, but soon a small smile appeared on her mouth. Subtle. Just making the corners twitch. And then she started nodding.
“Okay,” she said. “You can work for me.”
“Oh my God, great. Great.” I threw my arms around her and tried to hug her but pulled away quickly when I felt something.
We both looked down at the same time.
“Did your belly just kick me?” I asked.
“I think so.”
Samirah grabbed her ribs and tensed her face up. “She’s really going for it now. She must be excited.”
“Me too,” I gushed.
And then Samirah let go of her ribs and looked at me seriously. “It’s not glamorous work.”
I nodded. “That’s fine.”
