“No worries,” Noah replied, and just like that, we were back in reality and back in the pool and back with our feet on the ground. Bubble burst. Like someone had come and just stuck a pin into our own private inflatable.
There was a slight awkwardness after that, as we walked out of the pool together, me lagging behind. We grabbed our towels and moved to a sunny spot, out of the shadow of the massive slide. It was still warm in Durban, but still there was the lightest cool breeze in the air that made the hairs on your arms prickle.
“I’m exhausted,” Noah finally said, breaking the persistent silence between us.
“Me too!” I smiled at him, despite the feelings inside.
“I feel quite lazy all of a sudden,” he said, his straightened shoulders slumping a little and his posture changing. “I could seriously do with a change of pace.”
“Me too,” I agreed. The exhaustion from the night before was catching up with me.
“What about that?” Noah said, pointing at a sign.
“The Lazy River ride,” I read. “Kind of sounds perfect.”
CHAPTER 61
We floated down the river on the big inflatable ring. It was just big enough for the two of us to rest our backs against, our legs trailing off the sides into the water. Our bodies were pressed together, and I was hyper-aware of every part of him that was touching every part of me. We moved slowly down the man-made stream, the gentle movement of the water creating this relaxing sound. The walls of tropical plants on both sides made you feel like you were in a river in the Amazon or something equally adventurous and exotic. It reminded me of the tropical atrium inside Sheik Khalifa’s Desert Palace, the one where he and Amanda had shared their first kiss, and I thought how amazing and fortuitous it would be if Noah and I shared our first kiss here.
“This is amazing. Like being in a jungle,” Noah said.
“Did you know that half of the world’s animal and tree species live in a jungle?”
Noah smiled at me. “No, I didn’t know that.”
“Well, now you do,” I declared as we floated underneath a wooden bridge. The ring touched the side of the wall, and the motion made us spin around slowly in a full circle, before we continued on our way down the lazy river. I touched the water with my fingertips, and let them trail there languidly, along the top of the slow-moving river. This really was a lazy river; the gentle movement of the inflatable was making me feel more relaxed than I had in days. I threw my head back and looked up into the bright, blue cloudless sky illuminated by the warm autumn sun. It wasn’t too hot; it was just perfect. I was having a Goldilocks moment here: not too hot, not too cold . . .just right.
That was the thing about this moment, everything just seemed so damn right, and there was a part of me that was genuinely scared by this. My life had never been “just right,” and this was a new feeling to me. And, as much as I liked it, I was terrified because, in a few days’ time, Noah and I would go back home. Him to his house and his new career, and me to my—well, I don’t think I had a career anymore, but I did have a dull as hell apartment. And then it would all be over.Just rightwould be gone, and now that I’d tasted it, the metaphorical porridge one could say, I don’t think I ever wanted to feel that things were notjustrightever again.
We climbed into the car, still damp from our excursion. I pulled the car mirror down and looked at my face. It was sun-kissed. My cheeks were slightly red, and a spray of freckles had appeared, freckles I never knew I had. The old me wouldn’t have gone into the sun like this, but the new me, Zoe, went into the sun and into the water and did all sorts of things she was no longer afraid of.
“What are you thinking about?” Noah asked, while I silently looked at myself.
“How perfect everything feels.” I turned away from the mirror to face him.
Something moved over his face, a look of confusion. “Then why do you sound so sad when you say that?”
“I guess I don’t want it to end. But I know it will.”
“Why would it end?” he asked.
I shrugged, but didn’t answer him. Instead, I watched a crowd of schoolkids disembark from a bus and assemble in the parking lot. A loud beep made me glance back at Noah. He was looking down at his phone now, fingers sweeping across it, and a strange, solemn look swept across his face.
“What?” I asked, sensing a very definite shift in the mood between us. I didn’t know if it was a good shift, or a bad shift. It was hard to tell, because it had been so sudden.
Noah shook his head, as if in disbelief. As if something in the message he was reading had thrown him.
“What?” I pressed, feeling something coming.
“It’s just . . . my last pay check came through.” He held his phone up and I briefly saw a notification from a bank. “That’s it, then. I’m no longer a paramedic. It’s official. It’s over.” He looked up at me and I understood why he was reacting like this.
“You’re closing a chapter of your life. It’s a big deal,” I said.
Noah looked at me intently, zoning in on my eyes, and then dropped the phone from his hands onto his lap, like a dramatic exclamation mark.
“And opening another chapter,” he said, staring at me as if he wanted something in return.
“I . . . I . . .” I shook my head. I had no idea what he was saying, what his words meant, but he was looking at me like that.Like that!Like Sheik Khalifa had looked at Amanda in the tropical atrium just before they kissed. I knew this look! And this time I was sure Noah was looking at me like that! My palms began to sweat, my heart raced and butterflies flapped so hard that I was sure I would take off out of the seat. Go flying up into the air, and Noah would have to pull me down by my ankle.So this is what it felt like!To have a guy, and not just any guy—Noah—look at me like this.
