I shook my head and then nodded. Still unable to speak. Then I put my hand on his chest and patted him. “Well! Well! It went down well, just down the wrong pipe!” I finally managed. “It went down well.”
“Okay. For a second there, I thought I might have jumped the gun.”
“No! No gun-jumping.” I smiled at him, I couldn’t stop myself. This bubble of something big and warm and tingly seemed to expand from my heart and fill my chest. “You know how it felt when we went through the eye of the tornado today?”
“Yes?” Noah replied.
“It feels like that.” The giddy, warm bubble that had filled my chest burst out of me and filled the room, wrapping us both up in it. We smiled at each other like giddy fools. Like we couldn’t stop ourselves.
“So, you want to watchGame of Thrones?”
I shook my head. “Noah, when I said I didn’t want to have sex, that’s all I meant.”
“Really?” he asked.
I nodded. “Just not sex. That’s all . . . I didn’t mean we should stop . . .”
“You didn’t?”
“No,” I said, and then lay back down flat on the bed, inviting him back.
CHAPTER 69
We picked up right where we left off. With that kiss that seemed to have the power to shift entire continents, and I felt like I was being transported into the pages of my very own romance book and writing all the words myself as I went. And this was the big sex scene, even though I wasn’t having sex, and that was okay, because this waymystory,myscene,mymoment and I was going to do itmyway.
His hand slid down my body, and stopped at my breasts. He ran the tips of his fingers over my nipples. They hardly touched, like a breeze blowing over them, whooshing past, just grazing them. Grazing them enough, though, that when I closed my eyes and felt it, I wanted that feeling to never stop. Somehow if I could press pause on this moment, I would. Press pause on this feeling and live it in forever.
And then the fingertips weren’t so gentle anymore. Suddenly it was a squeeze. I flicked my eyes open at the delicious shock of it. From soft to hard. I inhaled sharply, breath getting stuck in my throat as he played with my nipples between his fingertips.Who knew this could all feel like this?All these parts of myself that had been dead and dormant for so long, seemed to have awoken and roared back to life with this simple touch.
He let my nipples go, they felt his absence immediately, and wanted him back. But they were gone, and his warm, wet fingers continued down my stomach and then stopped on my hip bone. He traced a small circle around my hip with his fingers. Once, twice, three times, his tongue too, circling my tongue, following the slow, languid pattern of his fingers until I was shivering with anticipation. And then he lifted his fingers off me gently and stopped kissing me. He looked down at me, a question in his eyes.
I knew what the question was and I was so desperate for him now that I didn’t think my mouth could form words. So I reached down, grabbed the back of his hand and pushed it between my legs. I heard myself let out a whimper as his hand cupped me there. Covering me completely. I tensed my muscles as he squeezed me. And then, when he eased the pressure, I let my legs fall open in total invitation. The cold air rushed over me and in me as everything parted for him. I watched him as his eyes went there. I watched as that stormy black cloud moved across his face, turning the blue of his eyes black as he stared at me, his lips parting slightly as if he wanted to taste.Would I let him do that? Or would I do that to him?
And then he pulled his hand away, and in a gesture that I’d only ever dreamed about, and read about, in a gesture that was without question, hotter than anything I’d seen so far, he raised his fingers to his mouth and drew them in, wetting them. My entire body arched up towards him, waiting for the feel of these warm, wet fingers on me. I watched them, stared at them, willing them to move faster as he lowered them. It felt like it took forever to feel him on me again. But when I did, I couldn’t hold my body up anymore, and it flopped back down onto the bed. All my muscles melting and turning to jelly as his fingers moved over me, bottom to top. And when they reached the very top, he sped up and flicked his fingers upwards. I gasped. Loudly.
He did it again, this time the flick was faster and harder. More pressure, more pleasure. The gasp turned into a long moan, which became a pant as he did it over and over, relentlessly. With each flick the pressure seemed to get stronger. A coil felt like it was twisting and tightening in my belly. And it was going to tighten and twist so much, that soon it was going to reach its limit, and explode apart. That’s what it felt like. I clenched my fists and my hands felt like they needed to grab a hold of.Something.
I reached down between us and without a moment’s hesitation, I grabbed for him and wrapped my hand around him tightly and possessively like he had done with me. As soon as I did, the look on his face and the moan that escaped his lips urged me on. He lifted his body a little so I could get better access. That move caused all the muscles in his shoulders and arm to bulge and twitch. I ran my hand up his length, pulling it towards me. When I reached the top, I released my grip and let my fingertips trail over the soft skin there. And now I did what he had done. And I watched with pleasure as he also shivered with anticipation as I circled him there, once, twice, three times. His breath came out in little bursts, and then he moaned as I gripped him tightly again and worked my way down. His hips thrust, pushing hard against my hands, as if he wanted to make sure he felt everything. Every possible sensation that my hands could deliver. He pulled back and thrust again. Sliding in and out of my hand as I kept it quite still. His thrusting was slow, and hard. I looked down for the first time, to see what it looked like. To see what him moving through my hand looked like. I licked my lips as I watched how desperate and needy it all seemed. And when I looked up again and caught Noah looking at me while I watched him, I felt a completely new sensation that caused my head to slam into the bed.
His fingers were inside me now. They pushed in deep and slow and filled me. His thrusting stopped and I ran my hand up and down him with urgency as he pushed deeper into me. In and out, faster and deeper and then slower. He brought his lips back down to mine and kissed me deeply and slowly as his fingers explored every part of me. One second they were inside, and the next they were out, his thumb rubbing me and flicking me, before diving back into me again.
We rocked our bodies back and forth like that until I could no longer kiss him anymore, because I was panting. Because my chest was rising and falling faster and faster and my free hand was forced to grab a hold of the pillow and hold on tightly, as tightly as I was holding onto him. It felt like I was going to fly off this bed and into the sky as his fingers moved faster too. His thumb seemed to be drawing circles around me, while his other fingers seemed to trace the inside of me, twisting and turning and finding places in there I didn’t know existed.
I was on the verge of totally losing control of my body now. And he was too. I could feel it in the way he could no longer kiss me either. Rather rest his open mouth on mine and pant. Pant in time to the movement of my hand. And then everything around me disappeared as I was forced to close my eyes. All I could feel, hear, smell and taste was him. Him and the pleasure making my body tense and my teeth clench and causing my lungs to hold the breath that was inside them. I was forced to let go of him as I came. As my body twitched and then slowly unfroze and melted back down into the bed. And when I opened my eyes again, he was looking down at me with a small smile. A satisfied, sexy smile. I smiled back at him, a small breathy giggle escaping my lips as the smile parted them. But then I realized something.
My eyes left his and drifted down. He was still hard and wanting and so was I. I wanted to give him the same kind of pleasure that he had just given me. I wanted that so badly, almost more than I wanted it for myself. I pushed him on his chest with my hands. He looked surprised, lost balance and fell onto his back. Without thinking, with just this instinct deep inside driving me, I crawled down the bed and reached for him.
“Wait,” I felt fingers tangle in my hair and hold my head in place. Not allowing me to move. “You . . . you don’t have to . . . uh . . .”
“I want to!” I said, and didn’t even wait for a response from him as I opened my mouth and slid it over him. Noah flung his arms out to his sides and his hands grabbed at the sheets, tangling them between his fingers. As if he was desperate to grab a hold of something. As if, like me, he too felt like he might fly off the bed and into the air. I wrapped a hand around him too and I pulled him in and out of my mouth. The taste and the sounds and the way his muscles were clenching and unclenching spurred me on. All the sounds and sensations and smells combining into this thing that throbbed in me and around me and made me just close my eyes and let instinct take over. I used two hands now, I used my lips and my tongue. Sometimes I took him all in, sometimes I simply let my tongue dance over him. Sometimes I pulled with both hands, and sometimes they were just soft fingertips. And then he reached for me to pull me away.
“I’m going to come,” he panted. He grabbed himself with his hand and moved it up and down once more before his entire body stiffened and froze. I watched, fascinated and turned on even more. And truthfully, if he hadn’t pushed me away, I would have kept my mouth there . . .maybe next time I would.Because there was going to be a next time. I wanted there to be a next time already, even though this time hadn’t even ended yet. I wanted to explore him even more and for him to explore me like that too, and for it all to eventually lead to sex, when I was ready for it.
But right now, I was perfectly content with this as I flopped back down onto my back. He reached for tissues and cleaned up and I’d never felt so sexy and powerful in my entire life.I had done that to him.
We both lay there, out of breath, the chlorinated water that had coated our bodies had been replaced by a thin layer of sweat and we held each other’s hands while we looked up at the ceiling together, shoulder to shoulder on the bed.
“That was. . . .” Noah turned his head and I turned mine. We looked into each other’s eyes. He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t need to.
