“I have to get back inside, I have a training session now. But see you guys later.” And then Maxine did something unexpected. She pulled me into a hug, as if the two of us were actual friends, and I liked it more than I could say. She ran off and Noah and I walked into the parking lot.
“Brave and fearless,” I echoed as we ambled towards our car. “You know.” I stopped walking and swung around to face Noah, leaning my hand against a cement pillar. “Maxine was right, this getting to know myself is actually fun. I’m really starting to get a better picture of myself, and now that I think about it, I . . . WHAT THE HELL?” I pulled my hand off the pillar and flung my arm into the air. “Get it off me, get it off me! GEEET!” I yelled as a lizard ran up my arm towards my face. “NOAH! Noah, stop it! Stop it!” I swung my arm in the air in massive circles, jumping and running in an attempt to fling it off.
“It’s in my shirt! It’s in my . . . NOAH!” I shrieked, as I felt the toe-curling, nauseating sensation of the lizard running into my shirt sleeve and onto my chest. “Nooooo!” I ripped at my shirt, sticking my arms inside and trying to catch it. “Where is it? Where is it?” I jumped around in front of Noah, not caring that we were in a parking lot and some of the people from inside that had stopped to watch me on the rope contraption had stopped to watch me now. I looked down and saw the lizard dart out of my shirt and onto my leg.
“Keep still!” Noah reached for the lizard, which was running around my thigh in circles.
“It’s going to go into my paaaaannnntss,” I wailed. A wail that was so loud it echoed through the cement chamber of the underground parking lot we were in.
“Stand still. I’ve almost got it! I’ve got it!” Noah said, triumphantly holding the creature in the air.
“Oh. My. God!” I was panting from the sheer terror of it all, bent over at the waist, trying to catch my breath.
“Where did it come from?” Noah asked.
“From the pillar. It must have been on it when I put my hand there.”
Noah walked over to the pillar and put the lizard back down on it. “There you go,” he said.
I ran my hands over my lizard-free body, just to make sure there was nothing on it. I looked at the pillar and noticed that another lizard had joined it.
“There are two now.” I pointed. “Wait, three . . .” I watched as another lizard crawled down the pillar. It stopped and raised its head and, I swear, its eyes met mine.A lizard locked eyes with me!I took a step back.
“Noah, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are they staring at me?” I inched backwards as Noah turned to the pillar. “There are four now!” I pointed a shaking finger at them.
“They’re not staring at you,” he said.
“They are, and I don’t like this. I don’t like this at allllll . . . NO!” I turned and ran as two of the lizards leapt off the pillar and started running towards me across the floor. “They’re coming for me.” I ran across the parking lot, as fast as I could. “Press the button, press the button!” I yelled over my shoulder as I reached the car. I heard a beep, saw the flash of lights, jumped in and slammed the door behind me. I swiveled in my seat and looked out of the rear-view window as Noah walked towards it.
“Hurry!” I shouted, and waved my arm. He seemed to be walking towards the car without a care in the world, as if reptiles had not just been chasing me. He climbed in casually, shut the door and then turned to me and smiled.
“Why are you smiling? Did you see that? They were chasing me!”
Noah laughed. “They were not chasing you, they were just running across the floor.”
“Towards me!Me!They were looking at me funny, didn’t you see that?”
He laughed even more. “I promise you, they were not chasing you.”
“Animals hate me! What’s wrong with me? Is there something about me, something on me that makes them want to attack me, or run away from me?”
“They don’t want to attack you, I’m sure you’re just imagin—” Noah stopped talking and stared at the windshield, his eyes widening.
“What?” I turned and . . . “Oh my God!I told you. I told you,” I hissed at him, as two lizards clung to the windscreen and glared at me. “Theyarelooking at me, can you see it?” I gasped as another one suddenly scuttled up the bonnet and joined them.
“What the hell?” Noah leaned forward and looked at them.
“Quickly, get rid of them!”
“How?”
“Windscreen wiper! Swipe them off!”
Noah reached for the wipers and first a spray of water blitzed the windscreen and then the arm came out and, with a slow, loud, squeaking sound, it moved the lizards off the windshield.
