“You . . . taxidermy . . . squirrel . . . Susie?” I muttered, trying to make sense of things.
“You know, I get so attached to my animals as a farmer I name them all, and one day, I just thought I’d like to be able to keep them with me when they die. So I learned how to do taxidermy.”
“That’s not weird at all,” I whispered to Noah.
“And Lucy’s eyes?” Noah asked.
Mienkie pointed at a workstation behind us and we both turned. “I’m a reborner.”
“A what?” I asked, staring at a table full of miniature body parts, still not sure what I was looking at.
“I make reborn babies. I make them from scratch, but the eyes are the only thing I can’t make, so I have to order them.”
“But the knife,” I pointed at Mienkie. “It’s covered in blood.”
“Cutting up some red velvet cake! For tea!” She gave me a massive smile with those red-smeared teeth of hers then nudged Tiaan.
“Why do you have so many chainsaws?” Noah asked.
“I rent them out to the farmers close by for some extra money, and I rent out other tools too.” He pointed to the other side of the workshop, and there it was, a whole wall of various power tools. There was a beat in the conversation and everything suddenly went very quiet.
“Can you believe it, liefie, they thought we were serial killers.” And then she and Tiaan laughed again, and Noah and I looked at each other and, this time, our cheeks went as red as the cake on Mienkie’s teeth.
CHAPTER 45
“Well, we simply cannot let you go now that it’s dark,” Mienkie said, looking through the curtains at the world outside. It had stopped raining about an hour ago, but now it was night-time. With the homicidal misunderstanding cleared up, we’d all sat in the lounge together and enjoyed far too many slices of cake and koeksisters. Tiaan and Mienkie had told us their life story, how they’d met at a diner that Mienkie was working at, skating around on rollerskates serving food. That actually happened, not just in movies. How she’d been the prettiest girl he’d ever seen and he’d told her that very night that he was going to marry her! How they had moved to this farm fifty years ago and raised two boys and more sheep than they could remember. I’d told them my story, and they had listened, fascinated by it all.
“You’re just going to have to stay the night then!” Mienkie declared, straightening the pink crocheted tablecloth in front of her. I had quickly discovered that pink doilies and crochet were very popular fixtures in this house; even the toilet had one of those pink crocheted seat covers with lace frills around the edges. I just couldn’t get it out of my mind the entire time I was weeing: what if someone missed just a little? Next time you sat down you would sit on a wet, woolly seat. And of course, the spare toilet paper was kept tucked up the crocheted pink skirt of a Barbie doll standing on the cistern looking at you!
Their farmhouse was an absolute visual feast, because in amongst all of that were taxidermy sheep heads on the wall, and little taxidermy calves, rolled up in a ball, set on a bed of fake grass, looking like they were sleeping angels. Tiaan was very proud of his taxidermy animals and could name every single one of them and tell me the story of how they lived and how they died. And still, if that wasn’t enough, rows and rows of reborn baby dolls. Freakishly realistic looking, staring down at you with massive eyes that never blinked. And in one corner, rather disturbingly, a lamb and a baby were curled up together.
But what they lacked in decorating taste—not that I should pass judgement—they made up for in warmth and hospitality and conversation. And after a huge home-cooked meal, which I was almost too full to eat after all the cake, a nightcap on the veranda looking up at the stars, and a mug of warm milk in case we needed anything else in our bellies, Mienkie showed us to the spare bedroom.
“Now, just because we seem old-fashioned and live in the middle of nowhere, it doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on in the world around us,” Mienkie said, holding onto the bedroom door and leaning towards us conspiratorially.
“Huh?” Noah and I exchanged a confused look.
“S.E.X.” She whisper-spelled that.
“Beg your pardon?” Noah raised his brows at her.
“Now, in my day, when Tiaan and I got married, it was frowned on to have it before marriage, or even to talk about it. I mean, no one said a word about it, no one told you anything at all. You had to figure it all out yourself when you got married. For the first three months I don’t even think we knew if we were having it!” she said in a very serious whisper now.
Noah and I glanced at each other, and I could see he was biting back a smile. If he continued to do that, I would soon be biting one down too.
“And when I think we finally did get it right, it was very quick, you know.” She leaned in a little closer. “Let’s just say, we weren’t very good at it. But we got better, we managed to have two boys, so we must have got it right at least twice.” She laughed now and then smacked me on the arm. “I’m just teasing. Tiaan is a very giving lover.”
“Uh . . . happy to hear it,” I said, and nodded over at Noah. “Don’t you think?”
“Mmm, yes,” he said, his hidden smile growing.
“Anyway, my point is, I know what the kids are up to these days. My God, I raised two teenage boys. You could not wash the sheets fast enough, if you know what I mean.” She looked at Noah directly now and raised her brows at him.
“Uh . . . yes, I do know what you mean. Unfortunately,” Noah whispered that last part.
“Anyway, I know you young people are having S.E.X. before marriage now, before you even get to know each other on all these computer things and the things on your phone, doing that, whatever it’s called where you send those sexy messages. Anyway . . .”
Where the hell was this conversation going?
