‘Still not getting you.’
‘You’re the cool, popular guy. I bet you played in many first-team sports with lots of big high-fives and had ten girls wanting to go with you to the end-of-year dance.’
‘Uh,’ he hesitated.
‘Exactly! And I was probably one of those girls guys like you thought was a weirdo.’
‘Guys like me? I think I’m offended.’
‘No need to be. Just stating a fact. It’s the way the world works. Social constructs. As my friend Jennifer would say – she’s a psychiatrist, so she knows what she’s talking about – much of our identity is formed through interactions with people and their reactions to us.’
‘Wait, so you’re just assuming what my reaction to you would be?’
I nodded.
‘Well, you’ve got it wrong. That’s not my reaction to you, and I’m not one of those guys.’ He looked genuinely hurt by what I’d said, so I took that to mean that perhaps I’d misjudged him. If that was the case, I needed to course-correct.
‘I’m sorry if I judged you incorrectly,’ I stated. ‘And if I have, then maybe this will work?’
‘It’s certainly an interesting proposal.’ He picked the serviette up and dabbed the corner of his mouth. He had a good mouth. Lips that were neither too big nor too small. Positioned in just the right spot between his nose and his chin. ‘So, I’ll be your fake date, and you’ll be mine?’
‘Yes.’
‘And you’re okay with this? You don’t really know me. We talk almost every day, but we’ve only just met.’
‘Should Inotbe okay with you?’
‘No, not at all. I’m not a criminal or anything.’
‘Of course you’re not. Pilots can’t have criminal records. And pilots also undergo rigorous psychological evaluations to rule out any personality disorders or instability, and those are ongoing, so I also know you are psychologically sound of mind.’
He smiled again. ‘Thanks.’
‘Pilots also need to be in good health with no underlying chronic illnesses, so that’s also a plus. You won’t be falling over from a cardiac arrest mid-evening. Pilots also have basic training in CPR, which is excellent, not that I imagine it comes in handy very often, but having additional skills is always good. It makes you a more well-rounded individual, which is desirable in a partner. Also, in a recent study it was shown that a typical pilot is someone who displays low levels of anxiety, hostility and impulsivity, also good when choosing a fake boyfriend.’
‘Wow! You know more about me than I know about myself.’
‘Doubtful,’ I said, and cocked my head to the side.
‘I’m being sarcastic.’
‘Sarcasm isn’t my strong point either. But I suppose I can practice it a little if that’s something that’s important to you in a fake relationship.’
‘Not at all.’
‘I do have other very desirable qualities though,’ I said.
‘Like what?’
‘Well, as an air traffic controller, I have excellent problem-solving abilities. Incredible levels of focus and very high ethical standards. Sense of responsibility and duty, excellent attention to detail. Only twenty per cent of students make it through training to become an ATC, so that also shows that I’m hardworking, have a high degree of intelligence, and once I set my mind to something, I always follow through.’
‘Wow. That’s impressive, but what about your personal qualities?’
‘Personal?’
‘Yes, qualities you possess that have nothing to do with work.’
I blinked at him. ‘Wh—what do you mean?’
