‘No, no, nooooo.’ He ran in front of me and blocked my approach. ‘Don’t. Trust me. You’ll regret it when you wake up.’
‘I’ll never regret telling the truth.’
‘Well then, it wasn’t a lie.’
‘Yes, it was!’
Andrew fell down on one knee. ‘Pippa, marry me?’ He took me by the hands.
‘What?’
‘Quickly, say yes, and then it won’t be a lie.’
I scrunched my face up at him. ‘That makes zero sense.’
‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ He leapt up and then started walking me down the driveway again.
‘We are not engaged!’ I struggled to keep up with him as he scurried down the uneven road. ‘I need to go back and tell them.’
‘Trust me, you don’t.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Let me be that friend who stops you from doing the equivalent of a drunk dial,’ he chuckled.
‘What’s a drunk dial?’
‘Haven’t you ever phoned an ex you shouldn’t have after a few too many drinks?’
‘No!’ I said. ‘I don’t drink this much, and I hardly have any exes to call. God, I feel sick!’ I stopped walking, moaned and clutched my stomach. ‘My head is spinning and I feel sweaty in these stupid clothes that my mom chose for me.’ I lifted the hem of my dress and flapped it up and down, trying to force air up. The cool air rushed in and brought the temperature of my skin down a few degrees.
‘You clearly need to stop taking fashion advice from your mother,’ Andrew said, taking my elbow again, which I was grateful for, because I’d almost tripped on the garden tool that the nearby gardeners had left in the road.
‘But she’s so persuasive. No,persuasiveis not the right word, a better synonym isforceful.’ I lifted the hem of my dress and flapped it again. This time, though, I flapped it way too high and, without any kind of warning, Andrew’s free hand shot up and pushed my skirt back down.
‘Let’s get into the Uber and put the aircon on,’ he said.
‘Do you think the gardeners saw my panties?’ I asked Andrew, pointing at the men trimming the hedge. They quickly looked away.
‘I think it’s safe to say that everyone nearby saw your panties!’
I laughed. ‘At least I look smouldering hot in them.’ Because I did. I always prided myself on wearing the best underwear. In fact, buying underwear was probably the only unnecessary purchase I ever made. Instead of buying a sensible pack of cotton panties, I bought mine from a lingerie shop. Totally overpriced, but worth it. I liked wearing lace; it allowed for breathability. I did not wear G-strings, though. I only wore non-underwired bras, and it all needed to match. I disliked things that were mismatched, and today I was wearing one of my favorite sets, a Lilac Rose lace set from La Perla, pleasing on the eye to anyone.
‘Didyousee my panties?’ I asked.
‘Like I said, everyone nearby saw them.’
‘They’re one of my favorite sets,’ I said as my foot slid across a stone. I tried to stop the slip, but my ankle twisted and my entire body wobbled.
‘Shit!’ I hissed as the forward momentum carried me. I swung my arms in the air but wasn’t able to stop myself from falling into the lavender hedge.
‘You okay?’ Andrew tried to pull me out of the hedge, but my body was sinking lower and lower into it. ‘Grab my hand,’ he said. I thrust my palm into his and in one swift move he managed to pull me back onto my feet.
‘You’re strong!’ I said, straightening my dress once I was upright again. I touched my head. A few lavender twigs had lodged themselves in my hair, and I pulled them out. I looked back at the once neatly trimmed, symmetrical hedge and realized I’d put a massive dent in it.
‘I’m sorry,’ I shouted over to the gardeners, who were both now staring at me. ‘I didn’t mean to! I can help you fix it!’ I started trying to pull the lavender back up, but each time I did it flopped back down. I’d snapped all the stems.
‘Stop, stop.’ Andrew took my hand gently. ‘You’re making it worse.’ He began pulling me away again.
