‘Spectacular’ was possibly an understatement for the image of the sun peeping over the horizon, tie-dyeing the sky in the most vibrant array of oranges and pinks.
Andrew:Are you still okay with going to my mom’s sixtieth next weekend?
Pippa:Yes. What gift should I bring her?
Andrew:You don’t need to bring a gift. I’ve got her something. We can sign the card from both of us. After all, that’s what boyfriends and girlfriends do
Pippa:Are we giving mutual gifts now too?
Andrew:We’re a ‘we’. That’s what ‘we’s do, or so I’m told.
Pippa:What else do ‘we’s do?’
Andrew:I had an ex once that liked popping my pimples.
Pippa:WHAT? That’s disgusting. I don’t ever want to be a ‘we’ if I have to do that!
Andrew:I won’t make you pop my pimples, promise.
Pippa:And no blackheads either!
Andrew:Definitely not. I would never dream of it.
Pippa:My mom waxes my dad’s back once a month because he’s too embarrassed to go to a salon.
Andrew:If I had back hair would you wax my back?
Pippa:No! If you had back hair, we wouldn’t be a ‘we’.
Pippa:Wait, do you have back hair?
Andrew:Haha! No, I don’t.
Pippa:Thank God.
Andrew:What gross things did you and your exes do?
Pippa:What do you consider an ex?
Andrew:What do you mean?
Pippa: Most of my relationships have only lasted for a few weeks. If that. So we never really graduated to the ‘we’ stage. In fact, you’re probably my longest ‘relationship’.
Andrew:Seriously, I’m flattered.
Pippa:Weird, my longest relationship is a fake relationship. What does that say about me?
Andrew:What does it say about me that my best relationship is a fake relationship?
Pippa:This is your best relationship?
Andrew:Without a doubt.
My cheeks did that thing again for no external reason whatsoever – they warmed. The warmth came from the inside and, to cool them, I fanned myself with my hand. And then I typed again.
Pippa:Me too.
Andrew:This fake-relationship thing is great! Why don’t more people do it?
