‘Why are you repeating my name?’ I asked.
‘The thing is . . .’ He started and stopped. I raised a brow.
‘Thing?’
‘I’ve really been enjoying our time together.’
‘Me too,’ I said.
‘I’m glad.’ He smiled at me, but he looked uncomfortable.
‘Was that it? Thething?’
‘It’s part of the thing. But there’s also more,’ he said.
‘What more?’ I scrunched my face up. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Do you really not know where I’m trying to go with this?’ he asked.
I shook my head. ‘You said my name twice, you said you enjoyed spending time with me and that there was a thing, and now I’m lost!’
His eyes scrutinized my face and I wished I knew what he was thinking. I sensed that I was supposed to know – and I felt as if Ialmostknew – but it was just out of my reach. The knowing was on the tip of my lips, but I just couldn’t quite access it.
‘Am I supposed to know where you’re going?’ I asked, feeling worried now. Feeling that perhaps there was something wrong with me because I didn’t know the direction this conversation was going in.
‘No. I mean, I suppose I’d like you to have an idea, but if you don’t know, then obviously I got ahead of myse—Never mind!’
‘Wait, I’m so confused right now!’ I shook my head and stepped back.
‘Don’t be. There’s nothing to be confused about.’ He forced a smile at me. It was clearly fake.
‘Did you find it?’ A loud voice made us turn.
‘Yup. Found it.’ Andrew waved his plane in the air.
‘Want to take it for another spin?’ the man who’d just appeared around the bush asked.
‘Nope. I think I’ll have to retire this one.’
Andrew turned and started walking away from me. I wanted to reach out and pull him back. Whatthingwas he talking about? And why was I left with a terribly uncomfortable feeling churning in the pit of my stomach? When he was out of sight, I pulled my phone out and sent a message to Jennifer.
Pippa:I find fake relationships just as confusing as real ones. For a moment there I thought it was simple, but now I’m not so sure.
CHAPTER29
It was a particularly hot day. I loved hot days. I hated having to wear long-sleeved clothes and anything that covered my legs. I disliked the itchy feeling of fabric brushing against my limbs, and when in the throes of winter, I longed for summer. I put my gym bag down on the bench, pulled my dress off and slipped my cap and goggles on. I dived into the pool. The first lap was always the best, I don’t know why, but it was always the lap I loved the most. I reached the other side, and I was about to turn when I swam into a shadow.
‘I saw your car in the parking lot and I figured you would be up here,’ the shadow said.
‘Hi.’ I lifted my goggles up to look at him. The sun had created a halo around his body and he was giving off a kind of angelic aesthetic. He’d clearly been working out. His face was red, his hairline wet and his eyes had this spark to them that I hadn’t seen before. No doubt a physiological reaction to all those endorphins rushing through his bloodstream. His shirt was tight. I’d never seen him in a tight, form-fitting shirt. It was one of those stretchy, activewear fabrics, and because he’d been sweating it clung to him like he’d been wrapped in cellophane. And,oh my God, he was wearing shorts. And his thighs were, well, they were the kind of thighs one might want to sink one’s teeth into, if one was so inclined.Was I so inclined?
‘Am I disturbing you?’ he asked.
‘You are, actually. But that doesn’t mean that the disturbance is a bad one,’ I said to his thighs, not his face.
Since that moment by the tree, things had seemed awkward between us. We’d gone to the dog park afterwards, and everything had been absolutely fine, on the surface anyway. We’d chatted and walked and laughed when the dogs rolled in the mud, but there was something lurking beneath the surface of us the entire time. Something that I didn’t understand.
Andrew hunched down, his knees gave an audible crick and he reached out and grabbed the concrete floor.
