‘In fact, you are generally a very symmetrical person, which is good.’
‘No one has ever told me that I was symmetrical before.’
‘Being symmetrical is a good thing. It’s a compliment.’
His smile disappeared and his face underwent some kind of shift: his nose crinkled, his eyes narrowed, his jaw stiffened, like he was grinding his teeth. I hoped he wasn’t grinding. Grinding was very damaging to the enamel.
‘Well, in that case, I find you very symmetrical too.’
‘I’m not that symmetrical,’ I argued. ‘My smile curls up to the left and my shoulders are disproportionately big from swimming. I also think my left leg is a little thinner than my right leg.’
‘I don’t mean you areliterallysymmetrical.’
‘But you just said that.’
‘I was complimenting you generally, not symmetrically.’
I didn’t get it. I stared at him for a moment until I finally thought I knew what he was saying.
‘Aaah, you’re trying to say I’m attractive without having to say I’m attractive.’
‘I suppose I am.’ He leaned back on his hands, stretching his legs further into the water.
‘Why didn’t you just say that?’
‘Because most people aren’t as brave as you when it comes to saying exactly what they mean all the time.’
‘You think it’s brave?’
‘What else could it be?’
‘Unfiltered. Abrasive. Offensive. Rude,’ I offered up the descriptions I’d heard a million times before, but he shook his head.
‘No. It’s not that. It’s brave. Refreshing. I like it. In fact, you’ve inspired me.’
‘How?’
‘I told my moms about my birthmother. About finding out who she was, sending her money.’
‘And?’
‘They were both pretty devastated to learn she was living like that. They also said they would have done the same thing in my shoes. I’m not sure why I didn’t tell them sooner. I knew they would get it, but some things are just hard to say out loud.’
I didn’t know what to say to him. I felt overcome by those big, powerful emotions again. So I nodded. And nodded some more. And once I’d finished that set of nods, I did another one for good measure.
‘I’m getting out,’ I said abruptly, after I realized I couldn’t nod my head again. I climbed out of the pool and wrapped myself in my towel, all the while trying to work out what the best thing to say to him was.Well done for doing that?That sounded wrong. I hadn’t planned to have this kind of conversation with him, so I didn’t have any pre-made replies I could draw from, so I just opened my mouth and said whatever.
‘I think it’s amazing how you’re looking out for her and your half-brother anonymously. I think lots of people would feel angry and hurt for being abandoned and given away like you were. A lot of people in your shoes might even be glad that her life has turned out the way it has. Resent the fact that she had another child and kept it. But you rose above all that. And that’s . . .’ I couldn’t quite find the right word. Was itadmirable? Synonyms werepraiseworthyandcommendable. But those did not feel like the right words. I didn’t have the words. ‘I know I’ve only met them once, but I can tell that you’re with yourrealfamily. You are exactly where you belong.’ I walked up to him and quickly put my arms on his shoulders, and then pulled away.
‘Did you just pug me again?’
‘That was longer than a pug,’ I said.
‘No, I don’t think so.’
‘Well, that’s all you’re getting. Take it or leave it,’ I said, picking up my swimming bag.
‘I’ll take it. I’m taking it. It’s taken.’ He was smiling at me again. That warm smile. That perfectly symmetrical smile. That smile that had a physical effect on my internal body temperature.
