I pulled the phone away from my ear at the loud sound. “Shhhh, don’t shout.”
“Okay, I won’t.” Sarah was whispering again. “But let me get this straight. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Yes, it was terrible. I thought sex was meant to be good! Especially when you’re so in love, but it’s been a disaster since it started.”
“Tell me exactly what happened.”
“Okay, so you know we’ve done almost everything, right?”
“Except you haven’t gone down on each other, and, like, actual sex.”
“Right, so he tried to go down on me, and it,God this is so embarrassing, it didn’t . . . He’d didn’t . . . He licked the wrong place, okay!”
“NO, not that place???”
“NO! God no, but he was nowhere near where he should have been. I kept trying to move him there, but that just made him more confused or something, because then he started to blow on me.”
“Blow? As in, with air?”
“Yes!”
“This makes no sense. You’ve got to be joking, right?”
“I’m not. And it still gets worse, because when he went back to licking, I could feel him licking out the A, B, C. I could even hear him whispering the letters out loud. He went all the way to Q when I faked an orgasm just to get him to stop!”
“Oh God, Ash, this is . . . This is . . .” It was clear she didn’t have the words. I didn’t blame her either. Neither did I.
“And I wanted it to be amazing!”
“The first time is never amazing.”
“Your first time wasn’t like this!”
“No.”
Suddenly I heard a knock on the door and quickly cut the call off.
“You okay in there?” Logan asked through the door.
“Fine! Fine!”
“I thought I heard you speaking to someone?”
I panicked and threw myself out of the shower and looked around. “Uh, no. I was watching something on . . . Just, I’m coming. Soon.”
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked again, sounding worried.
“Fine. Give me five,” I shouted back, and waited until I heard him leave.
I went back to my phone, this time messaging Sarah.
Ash:He heard me talking. Let’s message. What if we’re just not sexually compatible?
Sarah:But you’ve been sexually compatible so far.
Ash:But what if we’re not sexually compatible at actual sex.
Sarah:Is that a thing?
