‘No.’ Cam shuffled, trying to get comfortable, but with our arms and legs bound like this, no amount of shuffling would help. We were both quiet for a moment. And that was when I started to feel the fog creeping in. Thick. Heavy. Sludgy.
‘Ironic, isn’t it?’ Cam said.
‘What is?’
‘That we find ourselves back in a cupboard.’
‘Cam . . . I don’t feel good.’ I couldn’t hide the panic in my voice. I hated being out of control. And this was the ultimate loss of control.
‘Best thing to do is not fight it. Close your eyes, Lizzy.’
‘I hate this feeling.’
‘I know.’ His voice was soft and sincere. ‘You hate losing control. It’s your worst nightmare.’
I sighed. He knew me so well.
‘Come here,’ he said, trying to shift closer to me. ‘Put your back against me.’
I wriggled awkwardly until I found him in the dark. I tried to turn around, but it was almost impossible in this tiny space. Finally, though, I managed, and I just let go. Let my body flop onto Cam’s. My back connected with his chest and I leaned in as far as I could go, until I felt his chin on my shoulder.
‘There,’ he whispered. ‘Now imagine I’m wrapping my arms around you. I’ve got you. You can lose control with me. You’re safe here.’
‘Am I?’
‘You’re always safe with me.’
The darkness began swallowing me. It came at me in steady waves, each one bigger than the one before it. And each time the wave retreated, it seemed to take more and more of me with it. Until it was mostly just black and fuzzy inside my head.
‘Did you really not cheat?’ I asked, my words slurring together.
‘No, I didn’t,’ Cam said, and for the first time ever, I totally believed him.
‘So . . . misunderstanding,’ I managed to get out.
‘I know, and see how one stupid misunderstanding fucked it all up.’
‘It all up,’ I mumbled. It felt as if my lungs were trying to expel all their air, getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Shrinking down to nothing. And then blackness.
‘I should have come after you, I should have kept telling you until you believed me,’ Cam said. I could feel his warm breath on my neck.
The blackness was closing in faster and faster, and then Cam said something else. It felt important, but my ears refused to work and my brain refused to stay online.
Black.
‘Lizzy . . .’ I whispered.
Her head lolled a little.
‘I love you,’ I said into her hair. The words felt so right coming out of my mouth, as if they’d been waiting inside for years. Which they had. ‘I’ve always loved you.’
‘I love, mmm, yes, love.’ And then a sound came out of her mouth. A snore.
Seriously?
‘Hey, Lizzy.’ I tapped her, but her head just slumped back. ‘Was that an “I love you too”, or a—’
She snored again. She was out cold.
