Six years ago
8 a.m.
Hour 6
‘Oh, thank God.’ A familiar voice penetrated my sleepy haze. I opened my eyes, and as soon as I did, a veryunfamiliar room came into focus. Um . . . where was I?
I felt something on my chest and looked down to see an arm. Cam’s arm. I smiled. I would recognise that arm anywhere, and seeing it now, like this, flashes from last night came rushing back to me. Cam and me. Fighting. Kissing. Fucking.
‘Oh, thank God what?’ I asked, and placed my hand on his arm, shocked that I was finally free to do this.
‘Thank God it wasn’t a dream,’ he replied. He propped himself onto his elbow and looked down at me.
‘What do you mean?’
He gave me that slow, sexy grin again – that perfect mix of cute, vulnerable and panty-stealing-steaming hot. ‘For a second when I woke up, I thought last night might not have happened. That it was all just a dream. But you’re here, so it must be real.’
I bit my lip just thinking about it all. ‘That was real. Very, very real.’
Those multiple orgasms had definitely been real, and those red fingernail marks I could see on Cam’s bare chest as he looked at me,those were also totally real. He followed my eyeline, looked down at his chest and chuckled.
‘You marked me,’ he said, running his fingertips over the scratches. But then he stopped and leaned closer to me. ‘Looks like I marked you too.’ He touched my neck, bringing attention to the bite marks I knew were there. Not to mention the marks from when he’d wrapped his hand around it tightly while I’d been straddling him, riding him. The way he’d sucked on my nipples until the pain had mixed with pleasure. He leaned in further and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. There was so much emotion in that simple gesture that my heart felt like it was going to explode.
It had been two whole years. Seven hundred and thirty days. Seventeen thousand five hundred and twenty hours. I’d not gone as far as calculating minutes, but believe me, I’d come close. Because that was how long I’d suffered in silence. Suffered with this relentless and all-consuming feeling of loving him from a distance. This endless feeling that only intensified when I was near him, and worst of all, when I was pinned under him, or he was pinned under me. It was bad enough that I breathed the same air as him, that we existed in the same dimension, but when I was close to him, looking at him, even just hearing his voice, that relentless longing became something quite unbearable.
‘So . . .’ Cam began in a tone I’d never heard him use before. It caused a scratchy feeling to creep up my spine, and my entire body tensed as I looked up at him.
‘So what?’ I asked when he didn’t carry on. Something in the air between us suddenly changed. I could feel it crackling against my skin and humming in my ears.
‘So . . .’ His mouth opened again, then closed. He looked like a man trying to psych himself up for something.
‘What?’ I asked. The feeling had moved into my chest now, and was pressing against my pounding heart. Something felt like it was coming, something big . . .
‘There’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you, Lizzy.’
‘What?’ My heart stopped.
‘It’s something I should have said a long time ago, but honestly, I haven’t had the courage to.’
Oh my God.This was it. My cheeks flushed and my stomach churned. Anticipation, excitement, definitely some disbelief and a lot of relief too. These emotions all coiled together inside me, and I teetered on the edge of a sharp scalpel – dangerous, but at the same time exhilarating.
Those words. The ones that had been floating around us for so long. Sometimes they felt like they were on the tip of my tongue; sometimes I could almost see them hovering above his head, like a teleprompter telling me to read them out loud . . .I love you.But I never did. I was glad he was going to say them first, because I didn’t think I could muster the courage to do it myself. Speaking words like that scared me more than any dangerous situation I might find myself in. These words were the ultimate danger. And he was about to say them. I braced myself.
‘So say it,’ I said, smiling at him, trying to let him know that I was ready to hear them, and if he said them first, because I couldn’t right now, I’d say them straight back.
I love you too, I’d say.
Cam swallowed. I could see nerves creeping over him.
I sat up, looked him in the eye and smiled. ‘You can say it, Cam. Please.’I love you too, I whisper-screamed in my head, hoping he could hear it.
And then he said:
‘That bridge-and-roll you do when you’re pinned – you need to work on that. You’re leaving yourself completely open.’
It took me a second to process it.
A bridge-and-roll. A bridge-and-roll – a fucking wrestling move.
