‘Li . . . what?’
‘I . . . I . . .’ It looked like he was trying to talk, but no sounds were coming out of his now very open mouth.
‘What the hell, Cam?’ I clicked my fingers in front of his face, which seemed to do the trick, because he finally closed his mouth. But that was when I became aware of what his eyes were doing. They were wide, deer-in-the-headlights wide, and he looked shocked as he dragged them over me: head to toe, head to toe and back up again.
‘Yeah, yeah, I know I look like a clown. Okay! You can just say it. But in my defence, this is—’
‘No!’ The word came out fast and firm.
‘No what?’ I asked when several seconds had passed and he still hadn’t managed to get a full coherent sentence to pass his lips.
He blinked. Or did he have something in his eye? I hadn’t seen him blink like that before. And then his eyes did another full scan of my body. ‘You look . . . I mean . . .’
I crossed my arms and leaned away from him, finally understanding what was going on here. ‘Seriously? Seriously, Cam?’
He blinked more rapidly, like he was trying to send me a Morse code message.
‘Not you too, Cam. What is this? I go blonder, slap on some nail polish and a dress like this’ – I pulled at the dress, which was sticking to my body – ‘and suddenly you’re . . . what, rapid-blinking?’
He seemed to suddenly snap out of the rapid-blink haze, quickly shaking his head and raising his hands. ‘You’re right. That was very . . . uh . . .’ He was clearly struggling for words, and I was aboutto give him a few choice ones, likepathetic, perhapsmisogynisticor . . . I don’t know,disappointing. But he spoke again before I could.
‘Actually no,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to apologise for my reaction. It would be impossiblenotto react like this . . . Just look at you.’
I felt something happen in the pit of my stomach. So he only saw me inthatway when I was dressed like this. Did that mean that when I was my normal self, he reacted differently? How did I want him to react? Why did I suddenly care? And why was my brain going round and round with Cam thoughts and—
‘Nah,’ he said suddenly, bringing my Cam carousel to a stop.
‘Nah what?’
‘I’m over it.’
‘Over what?’
‘Over this whole new look you have going on.’ He gestured up and down my body. ‘I think I was just caught up in the initial shock of it all.’
That feeling in my stomach was back. Please don’t tell me this meant that I actuallydidcare what he thought about the way I looked? And if it did, I wanted none of that showing. So I threw my shoulders back and set off down the path again. ‘Good, I’m glad you’re not looking at me like that and—’
‘I prefer you the way you normally are.’ His words caused my feet to stop working, despite me wanting them to. ‘You always look good, no matter what you wear.’
‘Really?’ I turned around and eyed him suspiciously.
‘Yes. You could wear a hessian sack and still look amazing.’
‘Oh please!’ I chuckled, waiting for the punchline. The witty, sarcastic one that would annihilate all the words he’d just spoken, which would then cause me to snap back with something equally sarcastic and biting about the wayhelooked, which would cause him to do the same, and so on and so forth.
I raised my brows at him. ‘And?’
‘And what?’
I rolled my eyes, as if he didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. ‘What, I’d look amazing if the hessian sack was over my head,or I’d look good in my own clothes if hobo chic was a thing, or . . . I don’t know, Cam, I’m running out of lame jabs that you could possibly throw at me.’
But he didn’t smile, and he didn’t throw any jabs. Instead, he took a step forward, which made me want to step back but also forward at the same time.
‘No jab. No sarcastic dig, witty banter, teasing, mocking . . . Just facts, Lizzy.Just facts.’ And then he took another step closer.
I hesitated for a moment before I did the only thing I knew how to do in moments like this: I turned and walked away from him, straight back to my villa. I could hear his footsteps behind me the entire time, like my little shadow. I was grateful that he had decided to drop our previous conversation, though.
We walked in silence for a while, until he decided to break it.
