He laughed. ‘I know you were. But how about this time we don’t?’
I looked up at him and shook my head. ‘And how do I know the second I agree to that you won’t attack me anyway?’
‘I guess you’re just going to have to trust me, and I’m going to have to trust you.’
‘Trust?’
‘Trust,’ he repeated softly.
I reluctantly started inching my fingers towards his. I still wasn’t convinced he wouldn’t attack me the second I placed my hand in his. And because it was all I was thinking about, I’d already planned my retaliatory move: grab his hand, twist and lock him into an armbar.
Cam burst out laughing. ‘You’re trying to figure out how to armbar me, aren’t you?’
‘The thought had crossed my mind.’
‘But you’re not going to do it.’ He sounded strangely confident.
My fingers stopped inching, and hovered only millimetres from his, twitching as if they had a will of their own, no longer attached to me or my brain. They were operating independently now, as the tips reached out further and brushed against his, feathery soft.
That one touch, so simple, so small, changed everything. The world around us seemed to shrink and fold in on itself, getting smaller and smaller until it felt as if our touching fingertips were the only thing that existed in the entire universe. My hand tingled, the tingle moved up my arm, into my shoulder and neck, and soon it spread all the way through me. Slow. Warm. Very disconcerting.
But my fingers still lingered there, caught somewhere between the need to retreat and the impossible pull of staying where they were. And then they slipped into his. The moment felt painfully intimate. More intimate than it should have been, and definitely more intimate than I ever wanted a moment between us to feel again. His body stiffened, and he clamped his fingers over mine. For a second I almost took that as my cue to pull away.Almost.But instead, my fingers also tightened.
‘See,’ Cam said, his voice going all soft and whispery.
I looked up and our eyes locked.
‘Nothing dangerous is going to happen,’ he said.
But those words couldn’t have been further from the truth. Because something about this moment felt more dangerous than any other kind of physical threat.
I was very much in danger right now . . .
I’d imagined her hand in mine like this so many times before. In quiet, simple moments mostly. Sitting in a restaurant, walking through a mall together, on the couch watchingTV. Her hand felt like it fitted perfectly in mine. Like it was meant to be there, and we hadn’t taken some stupid six-year detour to figure out that we were meant to be together and always should’ve been.
I’d imagined something else too, many times before. I flashed back to that moment six years ago, right after sex, lying in bed together for the first time. I’d played it over and over again in my head . . .
‘There’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you,’ I told her. ‘Something I should’ve said a long time ago.’ And I’d been totally ready to say it. I’d been ready for almost two years.
But I didn’t.
‘That bridge-and-roll you do when you’re pinned – you need to work on that. You’re leaving yourself completely open.’
Fuck. What the hell had been wrong with me? It had been the perfect moment, the right moment, and I had totally chickened out. Made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
I love you.That was what I’d meant to say. What I should have said.
I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.
CHAPTER 28
‘So, plan for today: how are we becoming best friends with Victor and Amber?’ Cam said, smearing a mountain of butter onto his toast. An automatic reaction kicked in, and I reached over and passed him the strawberry jam, something I’d done a lot at breakfast at college. He took it and looked at me curiously.
‘Huh. You remembered.’ He twisted the lid off with one strong hand and I had to force myself not to stare as his muscles flexed, running all the way down into his long, perfect fingers.God, why did he have to be so unfairly sexy?And I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. I’d seen the effect he had on other women; I wasn’t blind to it. Wherever he went, they seemed to buzz around him like moths round a flame, and they didn’t mind getting burned.
I cleared my throat and looked away quickly. ‘Well, it’s hard to forget. I’ve never met anyone who eatsonlystrawberry jam for breakfast. For two solid years.’
‘I take getting my five a day very seriously.’
