I was the one cowering, covering myself, while he stood tall with his chest puffed out, like he knew he was holding all the cards. And I didn’t like that. We competed. Always.
And I wasnotabout to let him win this round.
I inhaled sharply, and before I had a chance to second-guess it, I dropped my hands. Then I locked eyes with him and dared him to react.
Now what are you going to do, huh?
His entire demeanour changed in an instant. His bravado was gone, and now he looked coy, unsure, almost boyish.
I arched a brow. ‘What? Suddenly shy?’
My hair was still tied up from the massage, and as casually as I could, I reached up and undid it, fully aware that with my arms up like this, my breasts were on full display. My hair cascaded down to my shoulders, and I flipped it with my hand, then casually wrapped a strand around one of my fingers. Cam’s eyes had widened and his jaw was on the floor.
‘Yeah. That’s what I thought,’ I said. I took two steps backwards, eyed him up and down very deliberately, and then turned with as much bravado as I could muster and started striding brazenly towards the shower. But as I reached it, I realised something crucial: I couldn’t walk in wearing panties. And my little one-up-manship would not be complete until I won by walking into that shower. There was nothing else for it: if I wanted to win this round, I was going to have to take them off.
Shit!Was I really going to do that, just to beat Cam in this competition in my head? I thought about it for a second. Of course I was. So with as much confidence as I could manage, I looped my fingers through the sides and pulled them down. They fell to the floor and I stepped out of them, then kicked them dramatically aside.
‘Oops. I guess I’ll pick those up when I’m out,’ I said so calmly I shocked even myself, and then I walked into the shower without even a glance behind me.
Yup, she’d definitely won that round. Won it fair and square, because when she dropped her hands, I felt myself lose all control. Of my body, my mind and definitely my heart. My entire nervous system short-circuited. She wielded a power over me that no one had ever had before.
And a part of me liked it. A part of me wanted to hand over control and let her run riot. But that wasn’t what Lizzy and I did. We didn’t let each other win. And she might have thought she’d won that round . . .
But I was going to make damn sure I won the next one.
CHAPTER 31
‘So please tell me that while I was having my face peeled and prodded and comparing toe-crushing torture devices with Amber, you at least made a new best friend?’ I asked. I was out of the shower and tucked around the corner so I could change out of sight of Cam.Even so . . .
‘Shit,’ I muttered under my breath. Why could Istillfeel his eyes on me? Not just in an ‘oh, he’s watching me’ kind of way, but in a ‘his gaze has the audacity to feel like a full-body orgasmic caress’ kind of way. Like invisible fingers – or worse, a tongue – tracing every inch of my skin, leaving behind a phantom feeling that no amount of scrubbing and exfoliating could erase. And believe me, I’d tried. I’d scrubbed so hard in the shower that I was sure I’d removed a layer, or ten, of skin, and yet it still felt like he was touching me.
‘You make it sound like you didn’t enjoy your facial,’ he said.
‘Well, I . . .’ I stuttered.
‘Because to me, it looked like you really, really enjoyed it. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so relaxed.’
‘Uh . . .’ For some reason, I didn’t want Cam to know that I’d actually enjoyed myself, and certainly not how relaxed I was.
‘There’s no shame in admitting you’re human. Even the great Lizzy Brown could do with some relaxation from time to time,’ he went on, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.
I stuck my head around the corner and shot him a glare, but he had his back to me. He was sitting at the desk in the corner of the room on his laptop.
Relaxation.What did that word even mean? Because it barely registered with me. I’d spent most of my life in this low-grade state of anxiety, stuck constantly between fight and flight. As a kid, I’d learned rather quickly that things fell apart at the drop of a hat. Security was an illusion. You could never relax; bad things were always just around the corner. And then in my job, being physically relaxed could actually get you killed. So I never let my guard down, never let myself loosen up. In fact, now that I thought about it, I’d probably only felt relaxed twice in my life, now and . . .
That one night with Cam.
He was still sitting there with his back to me, oblivious to the fact that I was watching him, and I took a moment to study him. Same broad shoulders, wide neck and muscular back. Deeper tan, though. Messier hair. And the beginnings of what would probably be full-fledged holiday stubble in a few days.Fuck, it was sexy.Any boyishness he’d once had was all gone, and he seemed more manly, mature, despite the stupid smug grins and the irritating habit he had of deliberately riling me up.
Had it really been six years since I’d looked at him like this? I remembered trying so hardnotto look at him back at the academy. It had taken so much energy that it was a miracle I had any left at all. I used to have to physically force my eyes to look elsewhere. Some days it had felt impossible, and they would be pulled towards him, as if totally out of my control, and there they would stay, reading the shapes and angles of his face as if I was squinting to read the tiny print on that giant piece of paper you pull out of a medicine box.
I felt something stir in my chest. An old familiar flutter I hadn’t felt in years. Only one person had ever made me flutter. Only one person had ever caused this feeling that was now creeping up my spine. And that person was currently sitting across the room, still completely unaware of the fact that I was—
‘Take a picture, it lasts longer,’ Cam said suddenly.
‘Shit!’ I yanked my head back around the corner.
‘I could see your reflection in my screen.’ He sounded amused.
