‘Oh you will, will you?’ I said sarcastically.
‘Of course, sweetheart.’ And then without warning, he placed a finger on the skin just above my knee and dragged it upwards slowly and softly. It was more than enough to make my skin pebble despite the warm sun.
The boat finally slowed down, and the guide gave us a quick briefing about the equipment, the hand gestures we could use underwater and the safety precautions. I nodded along, pretending like I hadn’t done this a million times before.
Minutes later, we were beneath the surface and the world instantly transformed into a living kaleidoscope. The first thing that struck me was the warmth of the water. The second was the silence. I usually hated silence; in my line of work, it tended to indicate that something bad was about to happen, but down here, it was different.
As we went deeper, the light changed, breaking up into beams that danced in the swirling currents and illuminated the colours of the coral, making them more vibrant, if that was even possible. The white sand of the seabed was punctuated with patches of colour, as if a painter had haphazardly spilled their palette across the ocean floor. And they were not painting in muted tones; on the contrary.
I swam closer to the reef. It was teeming with life. Bright bits of corals stretched upwards, swaying gently. A soft orange cluster moved like an underwater weeping willow. Schools of fish darted between the coral in bright electric bursts, and a group of blue fish zipped past my face, their small bodies shimmering when they caught the light above them, like little flashes of falling holographic glitter.
A pair of clownfish caught my eye. They flitted in and out of a sea anemone’s tentacles as if they were trying to scratch themselves to get rid of an itch. One of them decided to dart boldly towards me, stopping just in front of my mask. It looked at me curiously, opening and closing its mouth before it shot away again.
And then just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, a giant sea turtle appeared, wading effortlessly through the water despite its size. It looked totally relaxed and unhurried, as if it had all the time in the world. I suppose it did. How long did turtles live? How long had this one been swimming in these very waters?
The underwater scene was so magical and other-worldly that itfelt like I’d been transported to another planet, one where gravity did not exist, sounds were muted and colours were brighter and sharper. For a brief moment, I totally forgot about Cam. Not to mention Amber and Victor and why I was even here. Diamonds, cheaters, the Mafia . . . what were those anyway?
But then came a tap on my shoulder, dragging me back to reality. I turned to find Cam waving his arms, and it took me a while to realise he was actually gesturing at something ahead of us. Then he pointed, and beckoned me to follow him. We swam past a patch of fiery coral, past a school of red and blue fish that just exploded out from behind a rock, and past another curious clownfish. Cam turned back to check on me, his eyes crinkling slightly behind his mask as if to say,See? This isn’t so bad.I resisted the urge to roll my own eyes, instead focusing on a pair of angelfish. Their movements were so smooth and silky that I found myself hypnotised as they swam past me.
Cam’s hand closed over mine. My first instinct was to pull away, although as the hours on this stupid island went by, that instinct was becoming weaker by the moment. So I let him hold it, and as we swam through the water, doing something so simple together, I felt something akin to that feeling I’d had when I stepped out of the spa . . . Relaxation. Letting go.
The water wrapped around us. Everything down here was calm and muffled; all I could hear was my heart, my breath and my bubbles. Lizzy was swimming just ahead of me, and I reached for her hand. I expected her to push me away, but she didn’t.
We’d never done anything like this before. Not once.
Those two years at the academy, all that ridiculous tension, the sparring, the endless banter – it had never bled into something normal. We’d never gone out for drinks. Never done anything even vaguely social.
But this? This was the kind of thing I used to imagine back when I let myself dare to think about it.
Waking up with her next to me, a lazy morning, a slow breakfast, and then something like this. Something that normal couples did together. I tightened my grip slightly, just enough to make sure she felt it. And still she didn’t pull away.
That made it worse, somehow.
Because this felt right, like it was what we should have been doing all along. All those years, wasted.
If I could go back, I would have run after her. Told her over and over again that it wasn’t what it looked like until she finally believed me. If it had taken months, years, at least she would have still been in my life. Only I didn’t do that. I let her walk away.
I should have fought for her. And maybe then we could’ve had a hundred of these afternoons. Scuba diving on coral reefs. Watching dumb movies on a couch we’d bought together. Making dinner, fighting over the music playlist, falling asleep. Just . . . being together.
CHAPTER 37
Back on the boat, the atmosphere was totally different to down below. Victor had hit the champagne, hard, and there was music blaring from a speaker. Who did this guy think he was? Trying to relive his youth out here with a young girlfriend and house music. He was sixty-seven, and the dance moves he was currently attempting were just not meant to be done by anyone born before the millennium. And what was Amber even doing with him? Was she so shallow that the zeros in his bank account were enough for her? But then why did they have such vigorous sex? Surely zeros didn’t make you horny too. It was a bit of a mystery to me.
I flopped into my seat, exhausted, and Cam took up his place again, casually leaning against the rail as he had been doing before.
‘That was amazing! Did you see the sea turtle?’ Amber asked after swallowing a rather large sip of champagne.
‘Nothing like a day in paradise with great company, hey?’ Victor said, patting her on the knee. She giggled and climbed onto his lap, draping herself over him like an expensive Hermès scarf.
Cam raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. ‘Now that’s a good idea, honey.’ Before I could protest, he had grabbed me and hoisted me onto his lap.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Blending in, honey,’ he whispered, wrapping an arm around my waist. I was about to say something in reply, but before I could, the boat hit a rather large wave, causing my entire body to slip forwards and then backwards on Cam’s lap.
My body stiffened. I could feel something.
Something . . .
