‘I was just saying how the best of times grow fromthe worst of times,’ I comment, once Marleen’s settled, having ordered a glass of sparkling apple juice. And my mind turns to Bill, unable to imagine anything good coming from his loss.
‘From the mud grows the lotus,’ she says.
‘I used to hear that a lot in the Far East,’ says Frank. ‘Never did understand what it meant.’
‘It means simply that beautiful things grow from difficulties, that a negative can grow into a positive.’
Frank nods contemplatively, and I wonder what he’s reflecting upon, what horrors he’s seen.
‘How did your talk go this evening?’ I ask Marleen after the waiter has brought her drink.
‘It went well, I think. I spoke about compassion – offering compassion to others and to ourselves, through seeing as a child.’
‘Seeing as a child?’ I query.
‘Without expectation or judgement, without knowledge,’ she explains.
‘Impossible!’ scoffs Frank, clearly thinking Marleen has been supping the Kool-Aid.
‘When we let go of our thoughts and emotions, and recognise the world beyond our sensory experience of it, when we are one with the world, then anything is possible. That’s when we can really see the world afresh, and be curious about all that’s in it.’
Frank shakes his head in bemusement, turning his attention to the beautifully maintained borders instead.
‘Are you suggesting that through freeing ourselves of preconceptions, we’re able to be more compassionate to ourselves and others?’ I ask.
‘Exactly that,’ she says. ‘Children live in the moment. Adults don’t. When you can live in the moment and recognise each moment as a gift, then you can ask, “What will I do with that gift?”’
‘I see,’ I reply, mulling over her words, a feeling of momentum rising within me.
24.
CARLY
I jerk quickly away from Flynn’s touch, even though it’s left me with goosebumps from top to toe.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asks, his eyes full of worry.
I’m struggling for words when his phone rings and, raising a hand with an apologetic frown, he answers it. He peels away to find a quieter spot, away from the crowds I’m only just noticing, putting a finger to his ear.
Annoyed with myself for letting my guard down, I slip into the milling crowd and head towards the river, figuring if I follow it east, I’ll eventually arrive at the Grand Palais, close to the hotel.
Alone with my thoughts, I dig out my phone and call Jude.
‘Slow down,’ she says, leaving Adam to finish the cooking, after I’ve blurted out what almost happened. ‘Why would kissing Flynn be such a bad thing?’
‘First of all, he’s kind of my employer on this trip, secondly, he blows more hot and cold than a defectivehairdryer, and last of all, I can’t help wondering if he’s got some dubious morals,’ I rant, aware that the latter isn’t exactly fair given he cleared up the book train misunderstanding, and that I’ve no real idea if the woman from the hotel is his girlfriend or not.
‘But is he gorgeous?’ she asks, as I make my way on to an elevated, tree-lined broad-walk that follows the river east.
‘Jude, you’re missing the point.’
‘Am I?’
I pause for a moment, turning to cross on to an arched pedestrian bridge. The tingle of his touch lingers. ‘It doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t, because he’s still completely unpredictable!’
‘And?’
‘Andhe’s my boss,andI’m really in two minds about how trustworthy he is.’
