I cut the meat and put a sliver into my mouth. It’s so tender it almost melts, the flavour unlike one I’ve ever tasted before. ‘Oh my God, this is gorgeous!’
Louis looks at his own plate. ‘Not sure.’
‘Go on, it’s delicious. Not sure what it is but…’
‘It’s tongue, Dad.’
‘Tongue?’ Why is it that I can eat almost every part of an animal, as long as it’s one I’m used to? Ribs? Yes please. Leg? Don’t mind if I do. Rump? Give me seconds. But the thought of an animal’s tongue in my mouth, even cooked by one of the country’s finest chefs, makes my stomach heave.
‘Aren’t you going to finish it?’ Louis asks as I push my plate aside.
‘You know what,’ I say. ‘I’m pretty sure I saw a pizza van on our way in.’
Our eyes meet, locked in conspiratorial irreverence. As one, we push out our chairs, and I go to the counter to pay for our unfinished meal.
‘Was something the matter?’ the server asks as I hand over my credit card.
‘No, just something came up.’
‘I’m proud of you,’ I say as we sit parked facing the ocean, holding enormous, cheese-laden slices of pizza.
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah, of course! I always have been. But now, even more, I guess. For what you’re doing now.’
‘Eating margherita pizzas?’
‘Getting married. I’ve never been brave enough.’
‘Ah, there’s still time… Granddad!’
‘Ha. Thanks.’
‘Did you ever think about it, I dunno, with Mum or whatever?’
‘Yeah. ’Course I did. But I was so young, you know. You still have this belief that adults know best. Or at least that some of them do. And if they tell you that you’re too young, that you’ll regret it, you believe them. So I suppose I never brought it up with her.’
He nods. ‘Do you think you would have regretted it?’
I think of Sarah, the girl she was, the woman she’s become. ‘Probably not.’
He turns to me. ‘You know, I’d never have said this before, but since you’ve told me how emotionally stunted you are…’
‘Careful,’ I say, and he grins.
‘I have to ask, do you ever think about her now? Like that?’
I open my mouth to say no. Over the two decades of co-parenting, Sarah has sometimes felt like a thorn in my side. Someone who seems to criticise me and look down on me. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe spending time with her as we have has shown me that she hasn’t changed as much as I thought. ‘Sometimes. But it doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure your mum’s seeing someone. She’s happy… And she deserves to be happy. So…’
‘Oh, I didn’t realise.’
‘Yeah.’ I take a bite of pizza and chew thoughtfully. ‘But it’s all good.’
We’re silent for a moment. Outside, people pass, chattering away. A boat moves along the horizon, leaving a trail of white foam in its wake.
‘Well, never mind. I’m sure you’ll meet the right woman eventually,’ Louis tells me.
I look at him and he’s got a glint of fun in his eye. ‘Is that right,Dad?’ I say.
