She drew up her shoulders, straightening her spine even as the course of the conversation made her want to dissolve into herself in an insanely pathetic way. “What are thesereasons, then?” she demanded, folding her arms across her chest. If anything, she needed the extra support.
If Sutton wanted to put an end to what was going on between them, Charlotte wouldn’t let it happen without an explanation. She wasn’t going to let Sutton go so easily this time. Shecouldn’t.
“First and foremost, I have a daughter,” Sutton stated, as if that was something Charlotte didn’t know.
“I’m well aware; I’ve spent most of the night with her.” Charlotte gestured around the room Lucy had led her into. “I adore Lucy. And I think it stands to reason that she likes me as well.”
“Shedoes,” Sutton confirmed, but she sounded so utterly exasperated and pained by the fact. “And I love that, and it makes everything even harder?—”
“Is this because of Layla?” Charlotte asked, feeling like maybe she’d finally struck a match. Yes. Last week, Layla had been very unhappy upon discovering the nature of their relationship. “You don’t have to deal with that alone. We?—”
“It’s because Layla isn’t wrong,” Sutton said, her voice low but inarguably firm. Incontestably pained. Sutton’s fingers were interlocked so tightly, her knuckles were white.
“What?” Fuck, Charlotte felt lightheaded. She felt like she could hardly grasp what situation she’d walked into, like she’d been dropped into an alternate universe.
“She has no right to tell me how to live my life, but… youarea senator,” Sutton stated.
“And?” Charlotte challenged, still feeling like she wasn’t able to understand andhating it.
“And I—I can’t help myself when I’m around you! God,” Sutton breathed out the word, burying her face in her hands. “So I let myself get lost in whatever we have between us, but you’re on track to run for president.” She lifted her head to stare directly into Charlotte’s eyes. “You areCharlotte Thompson.”
“I’ve always been Charlotte Thompson,” she stated helplessly.
“I know, and that’s why you’ve done nothing wrong.” Sutton’s lips tugged into the saddest of smiles. “This time, it was all on me. Maybe it was last time, too. But… I have a daughter, Charlotte. And Lucy—her well-being, her mental health, her needs—shecomes first. She has to.”
The backs of Charlotte’s eyes burned with tears as her nerves pricked with terror at the calm resignation in Sutton’s voice.
“You’re planning on being the first lesbian woman to run for president, and I wouldneverstand in your way. But I can’t do that to Lucy.” Sutton swallowed, visibly hard, as she shook her head again. Just once. Firmly. “She’s my daughter—mine and Layla’s—and maybe, in another world, things could be different.”
In another world… Charlotte was certain she could feel her heart breaking in her chest, her breath quickening with it.
Sutton licked her lips, the bottom one trembling. “But she was brought into this world as Lucy Spencer-West, and we live a quiet life, and that’s the life I’m going to give her.”
Somehow, this was worse than it had been all those years ago. Charlotte had been heartbroken, then but… this time, it had all felt so close. Sutton—a relationship with Sutton—had been in her grasp, and now it was slipping away, andno, no, no?—
But Sutton didn’t seem to realize Charlotte was internally breaking down. She didn’t seem to share the sentiment as she continued talking. “I don’t want her mothers’ divorce dissected in a public forum, Layla’s infidelity splashed on a tabloid, where all of her peers will know about it. I don’t her life picked apart for the world to see, the way it would be as soon as you start to seriously run for presiden?—”
“Then I won’t.”
The words fell out of her mouth, interjecting into Sutton’s breakup speech.
They came from somewhere deep inside of her. A place Charlotte had never met. A place that shocked and alarmed her, even when she realized, shocked and breathing hard, thatshe’d actually just said that.
Sutton’s eyes were wide, her mouth hanging open, as she stared back at Charlotte.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Then I won’t.”
Charlotte’s words echoed in Sutton’s ears, and in this moment, she wasn’t sure she would ever not hear them. The desperation, the urgency, thecertainty.
She also wasn’t sure she’d ever forget howshockedshe was in that moment. Truly, utterly, uncontrollably shocked in a way that Sutton had never felt before. Like the world had started spinning in the other direction.
She also would never forget the way Charlotte herself had looked after she’d spoken the words.
All Sutton had been aware of in the moments that followed was the stunned silence. How hard her heart beat in her chest, how wide Charlotte’s beautiful, honey-brown eyes were as they’d remained locked on hers.
There was nothingto saybecause nothing was making sense.
