Sutton’s eyes seemed to widen even further, concern washing over her expressive face. “Are you all right? I can’t even imagine how terrible you must have felt to take a day off of work for it.”
She reached out and landed her hand on Charlotte’s wrist, pulling her inside before she quickly shut the door behind them. She ran her eyes down Charlotte’s body as if trying to silently assess her ailment.
“You can’t be standing out there in the cold when you must be feeling like you’re on death’s door. What are your symptoms? Do you?—”
Charlotte stopped her with a shake of her head. “No. I’m not actually sick; I just called in sick. Funny, you aren’t the first person to think that way.”
There was a clear relief that laced through Sutton then, her breath pushing out of her in a rush as she rested her hand over her stomach. “Charlotte, you arenotthe kind of person who calls in fake sick.”
“I am, though. I am when I’m more invested in thinking aboutusthan I am in working,” she insisted, and—wow. That was entirely the truth. A truth that felt good to say.
Especially when she could see that it rendered Sutton speechless.
Standing in Sutton’s hallway, only a foot away from her, engulfed in the warmth and the feeling of home that lived here, quieted all the deafening anxieties and uncertainties that had plagued Charlotte in her own home over the last few days.
It was that feeling that she had with Sutton. That feeling like the world was all right.
For once, maybe the weight of the world wasn’t on her shoulders. She knew how to describe it now. The freedom from that feeling was something Sutton, and only Sutton, could give her.
If she’d needed another reason that she was doing the right thing, there it was.
“I know you don’t believe that I can reconcile giving up the future I’ve spent my life working towards, Sutton. I understand that, and I know why. Because part ofmewasn’t even sure. Not really.”
She gamely shrugged, though she didn’t take her eyes off Sutton for a second.
“And maybe I’m still not entirely certain. Because, yes, I did say those words to you on New Year’s without truly knowing. And the truth is, I’m not sure when I will find my next career step. I have four more years in my Senate seat to figure that out.”
Terrifying. But far less terrifying than looking at a future without Sutton.
“That’s what I can offer you right now.” She gestured at herself, that quivering of butterflies working through her when she hoped—for the first fucking time in her life—thatshewas enough.
“No, I’m not certain exactly where I will end up professionally, but I do know that I can live without being the president, and I know I can be happy without it. I know I can.”
There was a strength in her voice that she felt coursing through her veins.
“What I don’t know is if I can live my entire life without you and be happy without you. I told you on New Year’s that I made a mistake in giving you up last time, and I can admit that. But I know who I am, and I learn from my mistakes. I spent over ten years wondering what life could have been like if I’d been brave and chosen you before. I will not spend the rest of my life wondering what we could have been if I’d been brave this time.”
The utter shock on Sutton’s face was palpable. It felt very in line with the way Charlotte could feel her heart pounding, her blood rushing in her ears.
“My life is—and always has been—the result of my choices. Let me choose you, Sutton.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Sutton knewthat was she was about to do was probably a bad idea.
Really, logically, she knew that. Seriously.
She’d spent the last two days thinking about Charlotte nonstop, which, in and of itself, was not a good thing. Back in the day, she’d thought of Charlotte constantly. When she’d been a grad student with ample time on her hands.
Now, though, she was a woman with a career and a daughter to think about and prioritize. She didn’t have the time and energy to spend getting lost in thoughts of Charlotte Thompson. At least, sheshouldn’t.
But, apparently, she did.
She’d talked it over with Regan, then Regan and Emma, multiple times.
What everything boiled down to was that she simply couldn’t imagine the future with Charlotte. Not because ofher, but because she truly couldn’t imagine that Charlotte—after taking time to think about it—would ever truly be happy giving up the one thing she’d always wanted.
So she’d imagined what that conversation would look like.
