The topicfeltoff topic, even now. Like it wasn’t something they should touch on. Like by mentioning it, it could so easily bring up the past, a past they did not linger on or discuss. That was the way Sutton, honestly, preferred it.
“I guess I just wondered why you decided to go public with your sexuality, if you weren’t actively dating. And maybe you are,” she rushed to add, feeling like she was digging a deeper hole for herself, “but it doesn’t seem like it?”
Especially not since they’d started this friendship and talked just about every day, if only in occasional texts.
The resulting quiet from Charlotte only made Sutton regret asking, sending all of these feelings swirling through her stomach even more.
She very nearly apologized before Charlotte tilted her head back at the sky, answering softly, “Itwasalways in the plan.” And that felt true. Charlotte had once told Sutton thateventuallyshe would come out, but without a solid plan of when. “When the social climate seemed appropriate,” she reminded Sutton, “when it could be something far less risky.”
Sutton nodded, biting her lip. She wasn’t going to push it.
And it surprised her when Charlotte continued to speak, her voice a quiet admittance as she said, “It’s not as though I didn’t—that Idon’t—desire that connection. It’s not as if there hasn’t been anyone potentially in the picture.” Charlotte stared at her.
“Right,” Sutton whispered, even though, god, it was so confusing. She knew she’d gotten over Charlotte; she truly had. She’d gone into her marriage with a clear, focused heart, looking forward to her life with her wife and leaving everything in her past, well, in the past.
And yet the idea of theanyones in Charlotte’s romantic life made her stomach cramp uncomfortably. Maybe it was that they were the people who’d entered Charlotte’s life at the right time, and Sutton hadn’t.
Still.
“You are quite the catch.” She cleared her throat and attempted to add a lightness to her comment that she didn’t necessarily feel. Even admitting thatfactaloud felt inappropriate.
Charlotte’s laugh was disbelieving. “Sure. In some ways.” There was her easy confidence before she pursed her lips, contemplative, looking at Sutton again. “But in many others, I’m well aware that I’m not. Or that I wasn’t, for them.”
It was so ridiculous that Sutton couldn’t keep the incredulity off her face. There was no fucking way she believed that the women Charlotte dated didn’t want to hold on to her.
Charlotte stayed firm, though, as she held on to Sutton’s gaze. “I’m a big enough woman to admit that I have my flaws, darling. Prioritizing work?” She pursed her lips, before softly admitting, “Being… vulnerable… it’s not something I’m very good at.”
Sutton could only stare; this claim was so far from her own experience with Charlotte that she couldn’t readily agree. She could so easily see Charlotte’s easy smiles, the way she’d held Lucy as they’d slept.
Several moments beat by, in which she was unable to take her eyes off of Charlotte’s, until she was made to blink, rearing her head back and staring up at the sky as the drops of rain started to sprinkle down on her face.
“It’s raining,” she stated dumbly, feeling as silly as the young woman she’d once been with Charlotte. She’d been so struck by the sight of Charlotte and the consideration of all that she was that it took a literal natural phenomenon like rain to physically snap her out of it.
Charlotte joined her in staring up at the sky, blinking quickly as the rain started sprinkling down. “I don’t remember this in the forecast?”
“Me neither.”
Even in the minute they spoke, though, the rain had intensified, falling heavier by the minute.
“I suppose it’s lucky we’re near your house.” Charlotte arched an eyebrow at her, a lightness coming back to her face that Sutton was grateful for. They’d been getting into heavy, uncharted—and for good reason—territory.
“Come on,” Charlotte breathed as the rain poured harder, her hand lacing through Sutton’s. Their fingers threaded together easily, in a way that they hadn’t done in so long, but it was as though their bodies hadn’t forgotten.
She tightened her grip as Charlotte tugged, and she found herself jogging along with Charlotte down the sidewalk.
As thunder rumbled through the sky, they turned onto Sutton’s street, and as lightning flashed, illuminating the world as the clouds decided to split in half and pour everything they had onto the waiting earth, they broke into a run.
Even though she didn’t think she’d ever found this much enjoyment in getting caught in the rain, as Sutton ran down the sidewalk hand in hand with Charlotte, her clothes getting drenched, her hair soaked through, she felt herself laughing at the absurdity of it all.
A glimpse at Charlotte as they turned up Sutton’s walkway revealed a similar smile on her face.
In a move that Sutton would try to wrap her mind around later, Charlotte used their intertwined hands to twirl Sutton, bringing her back against her door. The move was so smooth, bringing Sutton perfectly out of the rain and under the arched awning outside of her house as Charlotte kept in step with her, pressing close enough to stay out of the rain herself.
She laughed with it all, breathless with the butterflies swirling in her stomach and the damning feeling of whimsy that Charlotte, somehow, against all odds, could inspire inside of her.
She looked down at Charlotte, who grinned up at her, all easy and sexy and sweet, all at once, with the rain dripping down her face and dampening her dark hair, dripping off the ends.
Their breath was visible in the cool night air, and Sutton’s stomach entirely bottomed out. She could feel her blood rush faster through her veins.
