“The only other people standing even somewhat close to us were your mom and stepdad,” she shot back, exasperated. She didn’t even know if they could have heard the stilted, uncomfortable “conversation” from where they’d stood, butthey’d definitely been the only people close enough to even sense the vibe.
Juliet was very publicly affiliated with her parents. Darcy had seen her in commercials over the years for Harrison Jacobs’ businesses. She didn’t automatically assume Juliet’s mom and stepdad knew aboutDarcy, specifically, but –
As shereallystared at Juliet, the way her cheeks were flushed, and her lips were rolled so tightly into a thin line, she realized, “They don’t know that you’re not really with Robbie?”
“You didn’t tell your sister about you and I sleeping together until a few weeks ago,” Juliet shot back, oddly defensive.
“Yeah,” she agreed, slowly. “But there’s a big difference between your parents knowing about us, and your parents believing you’ve been in a relationship with Robbie Calder for… what,eight years?”
God, that was – that was so wild. Even if Juliet’s parents didn’t know all of her truths, stumbling over this, that they didn’t even know her pretend boyfriend waspretend, for the better part of a decade was staggering.
Staggering enough to make some of Darcy’s ire start to fade. At least a little.
She tilted her head, the hand she’d been agitatedly twisting one of her rings with coming to a pause, as she studied Juliet. As shereallylooked at her and wondered how deeply this desperate need for an image could possibly go.
“Darcy,” Juliet’s voice was dark and glittering, but there was an undercurrent of something lurking just below the surface that Darcy couldn’t place. “I fail to see how that is any of your business.”
“Well, it kind of felt like my business when you were kissing me like I was supplying your oxygen a few minutes ago?”
“That has nothing to do with my family, and you know it. That’s… physical,” Juliet, at the very least, seemed to struggle to find the appropriate word to describethem.
And still, it landed like a harsh blow inside of Darcy, slamming painfully in her chest.
“Okay, fine. Maybethathad just been physical. But what about the fact that you spent the entire day with my family?” She pushed, taking a step closer to Juliet. “That wasn’t just physical. I told you about my mom. That –” Her breath caught. “That wasn’t physical,” she managed out.
Juliet angled up her chin, her eyebrows deeply furrowed. “You invited me to spend time with your family. You chose to tell me about your mom. Those wereyourchoices. And it doesn’t mean I’m obligated to share with you all of the nitty-gritty details about my personal life.”
Darcy’s stomach crashed down to land at her feet, her throat feeling tight. So tight, it hurt to swallow through it. Which was stupid. When she thought about it, when she zoomed out and scanned over their entire relationship, she’d been stupid.
Not because Juliet had ever promised her anything, and not because she even wanted her to.
But because – when she really thought about it – Juliet hadn’t opened up to Darcy the way Darcy had to her. Even the things she’d discovered, like about Juliet’s visits to the children’s hospital or how she liked to fence with Laura, were things she’d happened upon.
“You’re right,” she managed to get out, her voice sounding like gravel to her own ears. “You don’t owe me anything.”
Was this the part about falling for someone that tore people up so badly? Realizing that you never really knew if they felt the same, even when itseemedlike they did?
It all made so much more sense now. Darcy supposed she really had been onto something with how she’d structured her life before all of this. Because this feeling… really, really sucked.
“I wanted to be with you tonight so badly. Like… I was looking forward to it more than this release party,” she confessed. Even though her voice was quiet, it seemed to echo in the room around them. “Because even before we were sleeping together, you weresomehowthe one thing that hit at the right part in my brain, the part that made me stop thinking about everything else. About my music being perfect, about making sure I’m showing up and being successful enough for Blythe and Emerson. Even when we were feuding or whatever,youcut through everything else, and tonight – when I’m so anxious I feel like I’m about to crawl out from my own skin – I have been craving you so badly. Wanting you. Looking forward tothis moment.” She lifted her hand, gesturing at Juliet. “When it was you and me, alone.”
Juliet’s lips parted, her breath tremulous, her defensive anger clearly fading a little bit if the tension leaving from her shoulders was an indication.
Darcy reached up, firmly rubbing over her eyes which felt like they were stinging. “Look, I’m not delusional enough to think we’re actually in a relationship. I don’t even know what that would mean or what it would look like. But I did think I was a part of yourpersonal life.”
In the resounding silence that consumed them after she spoke, all Darcy could hear was her own heartbeat thundering in her ears.
Finally, when she was sure she was back in control of herself, when she was sure she wasn’t going to cry, she lowered her hand, and stared – feeling totally hollow – at Juliet. “I’m going to go.”
With that, she pointedly kept enough space between them that they didn’t brush as she walked past Juliet toward the door.
“Darcy, wait.” Juliet’s voice sounded like it jumped from her throat without permission. “Just – stop. First, this isyourhotel room. Second, tonight was a… weird night for me.” She winced, deeply. “I’m sorry about howoffeverything was earlier. Can we just – can we have the night we’d planned to? I can make you forget about your stress and your anxiety. Iwantthat.”
Darcy wanted, likedeeplywanted, to agree. And the crazy thing was that she could hear it in Juliet’s voice that she wanted it, too.
But that was the thing.Couldshe hear the longing in Juliet’s voice, or was she reading into it? And how could she possibly know if Juliet wouldn’t open up at least a little more to her?
She paused, turning around to look at Juliet. “Are you going to talk to me aboutwhytonight was weird?”
