“There was nothing to see.” He took a few more cautious steps closer.
She responded by turning her back on him and walking to the other side of the room. “That is a matter of opinion.” Every instinct she possessed sensed the intensity of his nearness as he quietly approached.
“No, it is not a matter of opinion,” he said. “Listen to me.” He turned her to face him. “I had to speak to Daphne to understand what had happened. I was in shock. You must understand that.”
“I’ve understood everything, Seger. I’ve done nothing but understand, but I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep coming up with excuses for my uncertainties about our marriage. I can’t continue to be understanding and patient, when I am actually frightened to death on the inside. I don’ttrustyou. I realized that this morning. I felt sick watching you go off to talk to her. I was sure you were going to leave me.”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
She looked into his eyes and saw sincerity. Desperation. But after everything she’d been through, she wasn’t sure she could believe it. Maybe this was just his way of appeasing her, so that she would give him the freedom he needed to....
She didn’t want to think about the rest.
Clara went to the table beside the crib and began to put Liam’s toys back into the toy trunk, one by one.
“She wanted to become my mistress,” Seger said.
Clara froze, then forced herself to continue putting the toys away. “That’s not surprising. There are a number of women in London who want the same thing.”
“But I don’t want them. Nor do I want Daphne. I told her that. She is going back to America.”
Clara whirled around to face him. “How can I believe you? She’s the reason you never married for eight years! She’s the reason you haven’t been able to loveme!”
He shook his head at her. “Maybe she was the reason I chose to live as I did, but she has nothing to do with what is between us today.”
He moved closer and cupped her face in his hands. “I’m sorry I have not been able to love you, Clara, but it had nothing to do with Daphne. It was because I had become so accustomed to a certain way of life, it became almost impossible to imagine anything different. I’d begun to believe that I wasn’t capable of loving one woman. But from the first moment I saw you, I knew you were different. Everything about you was different, the way you looked, the way you made me feel. All other women were eclipsed by you, and they still are. You have been my friend and my lover, my confidante and my companion. You have made every day feel like heaven, and I think of nothing but you when we are apart. I could no more live without you than I could live without air in my lungs. I would die if I lost you, and that—I believe—is love.”
Clara saw the light in her husband’s eyes, and slowly blinked. Could she believe him?
“Seger....”
She had no idea what she wanted to say. All she knew was that her husband was kissing her. Holding her in his arms and calming her, soothing her.
He was such a magnificent kisser. Her body throbbed at the exquisite sensation of her breasts pressing up against the firm wall of his chest. Heat issued forth and simmered between them where their bodies touched. The tight, close contact began to melt the ice crystals she had worked so hard to forge around her heart.
He continued to hold her face in his hands as he gazed down into her eyes. Her body ached with desire. “I want no woman but you, Clara. Iloveyou, and I will always love you.”
She felt herself bending to his will as she always did. How could she not? She was melting in his arms, burning to give herself over to his strong skillful hands, quivering with the need to feel his flesh next to hers.
She labored to subdue such weakness. She had to be strong. She could not give in so easily. This was a turning point in her life. She would set the rules now and demand his fidelity and respect, otherwise give him the power to tramp all over her heart in the years to come.
Her voice was steady as she spoke. “How can I trust that you’re telling me the truth? That you’re not going to go back to your old ways as soon as this is forgotten? I can’t live like that, Seger, and I won’t. I would rather spend my life alone than suffer that kind of anguish, and Iwillspend it alone if you cannot be constant.”
He stroked her hair tenderly. “Clara, I will be faithful to you until the day I die, and beyond.”
“Those are just words, Seger. I need more than that. I need proof.”
“Here’s your proof!” He placed her open palm on his chest. “I have changed. Every day since I met you, I’ve moved farther away from the shell of the man that I was. I feel it inside myself. I’m whole again. Surely you can see it, too.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. “Can’t you see it in my eyes? Hear it in my voice? Feel it in your heart? God, this morning Daphne appeared,alive,and offered to be my mistress, and I sent her away. Isn’t that proof enough that you are the only woman in the world for me? That my heart beats for you and you alone?I love you, Clara.You are my entire world.”
Tears of joy welled up in her eyes as she gazed at her husband and listened to all he said. Really listened. He was right—he had changed, and she could see it in his eyes. Still, she was so afraid to trust her instincts.
But she did love him. That much she knew.
“I love you, too,” she said.
He gathered her into his arms and held her tight, kissing her cheeks and neck and finally her mouth.
“Clara, you have given me so much, even when I gave nothing in return. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. I want to have children with you and grow old with you. I want to prove to you that I will be the most faithful husband England has ever known.”
