Looking back on it, however, there had never been an opportunity to bring it up. After Seger proposed, she thought she could tell him later, when it would hardly matter.
It hardly mattered now, she tried to tell herself. The embezzlement had nothing to do with her. She had known nothing about it. She was merely an innocent bystander.
She would tell Seger that.
Clara sat down on the sofa. “You remember the man I told you about? The man who proposed to me two years ago?”
Seger remained standing. His expression was calm. “Yes.”
Clara’s heart began to pound faster. “Well, the reason I didn’t marry him was because…he was arrested for theft and embezzlement.”
Seger stood motionless, staring down at her. She gazed into his eyes. He didn’t seem angry. He didn’t seem anything.
“It’s a rather strange story, actually,” she said with a smile, trying to keep things light.
She hoped he would be understanding about this. He, of all people in the world, should be. He—the king of scarlet pasts....
“Tell me.”
She nodded and complied. “His name was Gordon Tucker, and when he proposed, my father refused to let me marry him. I told Gordon I would marry him anyway, despite my parents’ wishes, but he knew he could never afford to take me away, so he stole from his employer. I assure you, I knew nothing about that. All I knew was that he had somehow managed to pay for our passage to Europe. He told me he was in possession of enough savings to tide us over until he could find work when we got there. We were going to get married on board the ship. I suppose he thought that once we were married, Father would have no choice but to provide us with an allowance.”
Seger’s eyebrows drew together, and for the first time, she saw mild anger in his face. “Did you love this man? You must have felt very passionate if you were willing to run off with him.”
She bowed her head and paused a moment before answering. She had been enamored with Gordon, certainly. He was handsome and he knew how to charm her, how to manipulate her, but she had never been in love with him. Not in the deeper sense. “No,” she answered at last.
“How can I be sure you are telling me the truth? The telegram warned me that you could be….”
Clara looked up. “That I could be what?”
He paused a moment before speaking candidly. “It said you were a liar.”
A lump rose up in Clara’s throat. “No, that’s not true. Please, Seger. You need to believe me when I tell you that I was terrified getting on the ship with him, and I wept with relief when my father came to take me home. When I said yes to Gordon’s proposal, I only wanted to escape the pressure.”
“The pressure to marry well,” Seger said, needing clarification.
“Yes.”
He took a moment to consider this, while she sat helplessly, not knowing what to say, wishing she knew what was going on inside his head. Was he furious with her? Did he hate her?
Or was he hurt?
“So, you didn’t love him,” Seger said, beginning to pace. “Did you desire him? He didn’t take your virginity, but did you ever let him touch you?”
The question unnerved her. It was clear that for Seger, desire was paramount.
“Yes, I did.”
He stared at her for a moment, then turned toward the window. “Where is this man now?”
“He went to prison for the embezzlement.”
Seger faced her again. “Prison? Good God. There was a trial? Were you involved in the scandal?”
“No, my father took care of that. I was removed from the situation.”
Seger’s broad shoulders rose and fell. He looked fatigued. “So, there was much more to this than what you told me at your sister’s assembly. This is very serious, Clara. You should not have kept it from me.”
She saw the disappointment in his eyes and wished more than anything that she had told him about it sooner. She hadn’t set out to keep a secret from him, but she’d considered it to be a stain on her character and she had feared that no one would ever want her if they knew. She had therefore pushed it from her mind. Perhaps it had been her way of pretending—at least to herself—that it hadn’t happened, because she regretted it terribly.
