Blaine kept his gaze fixed on hers, and she noticed the deep lines at the outer corners of his eyes. It made him seem old and wise, content with the life he had chosen. “Sometimes you have to do what’s right for you,” he said, “and not worry about what others think.”
She thought about Drew—those blissful summer days in the forest, the joy of their songwriting—and her stomach clenched with regret. “I’m probably just dreaming anyway. I don’t know what I was thinking, sending that letter. He already made it clear he didn’t want to be with me.”
The boat bobbed up and down on the gentle swells, and Blaine gazed out at the mountains across the water, the wispy clouds, in constant motion, casting rolling shadows on the jagged peaks.
“Everything will work out for you,” he said. “You’ll see.” He looked her straight in the eye. “And no matter what happens with that young man, you’ll have a home here with us for as long as you want it. And in my opinion, if he doesn’t write back immediately and tell you to come home, then he’s not good enough for you. You’re a special person, and you deserve the best.”
Blaine’s words, kind and free of judgment, tempered the self-doubt she’d been wrestling with for weeks. All her life, really. She found herself wondering where she would be today if she’d had a father who said things like that to her.
“One day,” Blaine said, “when you look back on all this, everything will make sense, and you’ll be glad for this experience. But for now ...” He stood up straighter. “You just have to follow your gut and do what feels right. If you decide to leave us, that’s okay. It’ll happen the way it’smeant to, and you’ll figure it out. Time has a way of making everything come clear.”
That afternoon, after a midday tour, Valerie sat on the wide wooden deck at the lodge, watching theWandererbob up and down on angry swells at the dock. The wind had come out of nowhere in the past hour, and the Alaskan flag was whipping noisily at the top of the flagpole.
She couldn’t stop thinking about a sea otter they’d seen on the tour, floating on her back and feeding her baby on her belly. The passengers had rushed to the side to take pictures.
Valerie thought of her own baby and wondered what it might feel like to cradle him or her on her belly in that way. Would they even let her hold her baby in the delivery room if she planned to give it up for adoption? How painful would that be?
With a knot of uncertainty in her belly, Valerie imagined her letter making its way to Drew in Nova Scotia. What would happen when he learned that he was going to be a father?
She had so many questions and doubts.
“It’ll happen the way it’s meant to, and you’ll figure it out. Time has a way of making everything come clear.”
She hoped Blaine was right about that.
A car pulled into the parking lot. It was only four o’clock, not yet time for dinner guests to arrive. Valerie rose from her chair, strolled to the rail, and saw Frank Brown getting out of his car. She had forgotten what a big man he was.
“Just the person I came to see!” he shouted. He crossed the lot and climbed the steps, then stood with his hand on the post.
“Here I am,” she replied, not knowing what to expect from this visit. He hadn’t checked up on her as he had promised. Not once since he had dropped her off.
“You doin’ okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine—thank you.”
He stared at her for a moment, squinting a little. “Do you have everything you need out here?”
“I do. The Wilsons have been wonderful.”
“Good.” He dug into his pocket, pulled out a crumpled ten-dollar bill, and handed it to her.
“What’s this for?”
“It’s from your father,” he replied. “He wants to make sure you’re taken care of.”
She accepted the money and stared at it for a few seconds. “Great. Ten bucks will fix everything.”
Frank turned and spit over the railing. “He said you were a handful.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me,” Frank replied. “Your father said you were out of control—that you needed some discipline to get you back in line. I wasn’t sure about letting you come out here to stay, because the Wilsons can be soft, but I figured it was far enough out of town that you wouldn’t get into trouble. At least not anynewtrouble.”
Resisting the urge to talk back, Valerie slipped the ten-dollar bill into her coat pocket. “Thanks for the money. I’ll save it for a rainy day.”
“Plenty of those in Alaska,” he said, “until the snow flies. So don’t expect to be going anywhere over the winter. We’ll be getting some mighty big storms. More snowfall here than any other city in the US.”
“I’ve heard.”
