Nate
Standing in the middle of the living room, I look around. At the couch where I fell asleep, no idea what was going on. The coffee table I didn’t bother to clean because everything happened so fast, still piled up with snacks that Alex was so happy to get that afternoon.
My body feels like it’s made of stone. Aching from sitting for too many hours, but I can’t move.
Iris slips around me, dropping her bag on the chair. “Nate,” she says in that gentle tone, touching my arm. Her voice cuts through the fog enough for me to look at her. “You need a shower. Come on.”
I open my mouth to argue, but she keeps her hand on my arm, warm and steady, guiding me, and it’s enough to get my feet moving.
I shuffle down the hall, the floorboards creaking under every step.
In the bathroom, I stare at the tile.
The light feels harsh, the mirror reflecting a man I don’t recognize.
A man who let his brother get hurt.
I don’t even notice Iris following me until her hands are on my jacket, easing it off my shoulders. “I can do it,” I mutter,but my arms hang heavy at my sides.
“I know.”
She tugs my T-shirt over my head, dropping it onto the floor. She works in silence, moving to my belt. Her fingers are steady as she slides my jeans down, waiting for me to step out of them, and I don’t say a word when she takes my boxers too.
When she straightens, she doesn’t step back right away. Before I can say anything, she leans in and presses a kiss to my bare shoulder. “I’ll put something in the oven. And I’ll leave clean clothes on the bed.”
I nod, unable to speak.
She pulls the door shut behind her, leaving me alone for the first time since everything happened.
The shower water burns as it hits my skin, but I don’t turn it down. I let it beat down on the back of my neck, down my back.
I can’t get it out of my head.
Alex’s bruised face, his broken body. The tremble in his voice when he saiddon’t leave.The way he flinched away from the nurses. Jason’s words in the locker room, poison echoing in my head.
My breath comes in ragged gasps.
I should’ve known.How the fuck didn’t I see it?
I bury my face in my hands, my fingers tugging at my hair. All the guilt, the anger, the helplessness I’ve been shoving down for days ripping free now that I’m alone.
I’m not the strong big brother right now.
I’m a mess, choking on every thought of what Alex went through, while I was too damn busy worrying about football and my love life to see it.
The kitchen smells like pizza when I come out, and Iris is filling up a bag with some of Alex’s favorite snacks, and I’m so damn grateful.
I don’t know if I’d be able to do this without her.
When she turns around, she frowns. “Are you okay?” she asks, coming to stand in front of me and caressing my cheek with her hand. I guess my crying session in the shower ain’t much of a secret.
I shrug, leaning into her hand, “Getting there.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug that I desperately need. But in that moment, I realize that she’s wearing the same clothes from the other day, too.
She never left my side.
“Darlin’,” I mumble into her neck, and I think I feel a small shiver, but surely not. “You wanna take a shower too?”
