I’ve been racking my brain since I got home last night, trying to understand. I’m clearly interested. I asked her to go outwith me, but she turned me down. And then she almost kissed me.
Her words and her actions just ain’t lining up.
My sister picks up on the third ring. “Dammit, Nathaniel, do you know what time it is?” 6:05 AM. On a Sunday. But I can’t be worrying about that right now. This is important.
“I think I’m in love,” I blurt out.
“Well, shit.”
There’s rustling on the other end, then a muffled curse and what I think is her knocking something over. “Alright. I’m up. What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re my favorite sister.”
“No shit, I’m your only sister. Now. Start from the top.”
I tell her everything.
I start with meeting Iris, how she’s different from any girl I’ve ever met. How she came to the game after rejecting me. I tell her that dancing with her made me feel like the luckiest man in Rosehill.
About how close we got…
“I thought she was gonna kiss me. She looked like she wanted to. But then she froze. I could tell that—” I frown at the memory of this moment. Not one of the best in the lineup.
“I could tell she didn’t want it anymore.”
“And this isn’t the first time she’s turned you down?”
“No,” I admit, and I’ll say, having to tell my sister about getting rejected isn’t my idea of a fun time, but I do it anyway.
“I asked her out a couple weeks ago. But I swear, Liz. It seems like she likes me back. It’s not like I can’t take no for an answer. And I really did try to give her space, but—”
“Nate,” Liz interrupts my rambling. “It sounds like she’sscared.”
“Scared of me?”
“No, dummy. She probably had a bad breakup or something. You don’t know what’s happened in her past. Maybe she’s hesitant to put herself out there. Maybe she thinks you’re messing around, looking for something casual.” She pauses.
“You’re not, are you?”
“I’m calling you at six on a Sunday, asking for dating advice. What do you think?”
“Okay, okay. Just making sure this ain’t about getting in her pants. You tend to go after the prettiest, most emotionally unavailable girl you can find.”
I sigh, rubbing my hand over my face.
She’s right, but this isn’t that. I’m serious about Iris.
“Liz…it’s not like before.”
I can hear her take a deep breath over the phone, and I already know where this is going. “Nate… you’ve been hung up on Sav for the last, what? Eight years? You shouldn’t chase after that poor girl if that’s what this is.”
“This isn’t about her.”
“Isn’t it? ‘Cause sometimes I think you’re still waiting on Sav to realize she made a mistake and come back to you. If you’re not gonna give that up, you need to let Iris find somebody who’s all in on her.”
“I’m not waiting on her,” I tell her, and that’s the truth.
Maybe I was at some point. Back when it was fresh, when the woman I thought I was gonna marry up and left me.
