“Och, aye. Babes bring such joy, do they no’?” Brenna agreed and turned her face to the activity at the front of the hall.
Tosia nodded absently at the lass’s words, as she searched the hall for James. “Aye, that they do,” she said more to herself than to Brenna.
Was James thinking the same as she? Did he even desire children? They had never spoken about it. What would he do if,when, she did find herself full with child?
James hunkered downnext to his king and wondered,what next, what next?The past few weeks had been enough to try any man’s soul, and he glanced at the Bruce. What ofthatman’s soul? He was still separated from his wife and child, and the fate of his crown and country yet undecided. James knew he’d not fare as well, or with the same measure of composure, as the man seated beside him. The Bruce’s eyes sparkled as he watched the tender scene of Torin learning he was to be a father.
James’s own eyes shifted from his king to the women in the hall, searching for the russet-haired lass who’d stolen his heart. The idea of children was one that hadn’t crossed James’s mind when they first wed, but now that the past few days had been ones of reunion, of forgiveness, of family, and now of babes, his mind had turned to his wife and their procreating activities.
As he gazed upon her face from under hooded eyes, her expression changed from one of celebratory delight to one of furrowed brow and fretful lines. Perchance she’d been thinking the same as James, of the eventual results of their frequent coupling.
That expression of concern tore at his heart, and bowing to the Bruce to excuse himself, he made his way through the throng of lauding men and women toward Tosia. Cheers ofSlainte!rang throughout the hall as he reached his wife. The strangely dressed Fraser woman perched next to her, but that lass’s attention focused on the joyous MacColloughs. Tosia started when he placed his hand on her dainty shoulder. Her hair entwined in his scruffy beard as he leaned in to speak in her ear.
“A word, wife?” he asked. Tosia reached her hand up to cover his before rising.
She wiped the fretful look from her face and replaced it with a tender smile. “Of course, my husband,” she answered as she stood.
James took her hand in his and tugged lightly as he led her past the tables to the main doors of the hall, flung wide to the only moderately cooler air outside.
He walked her to the low wall that buttressed the front steps, turning her so she faced the bailey, then stood behind her, his arms on either side of her hips as he rested his hands on the stone wall. She was cradled in his arms, protected.
A gentle breeze lifted flyaway locks of her hair, and he caught scents of grass, heather, and the oncoming autumn, lingering scents that spoke of her day. All that combined with an underlying scent that was uniquely Tosia, an aroma that drove his mind to a heated madness. His groin throbbed every time he caught the scent. Tonight, he forced himself to tamp that arousal down.
He had more important matters to discuss with Tosia.
“Lass,” he spoke into the wind. “What was on your mind in the hall? Instead of celebrating with the new mother, ye appeared concerned.”
His arms tightened against her, trying to be the solid foundation, the rock she needed to rely on, to ease her ability to voice what had her disheartened. She took his meaning and reclined back, her eyes on the darkened skies and slowly twinkling stars.
“I did celebrate for them, briefly. Caitrin, and the Lady Elayne, have been so kind to me here.”
James waited. When she didn’t continue, he urged her. “Yet?”
She whirled around in his arms, her eyes searching his face. “Yet we are naught but visitors here. Even after we move to Threave, ye are yet his man. Are we to be endless guests of the king? And what happens when I am with child? Are we to raise it here, amid an army? And what of ye?”
Her rush of panicked questions surprised him. James snapped his head back. “Me?”
“Ye are to leave with the king for the Highlands soon. What if ye dinna return?”
There it was. She feared for his life, for their future. His arms tightened around her, drawing her shaking body to his. The night was far too warm for her to shiver from cold — it was fear of an uncertain future that drove her shivering.
“Aye, lass. Ye speak the truth. At any time I might give my blood, my life, for the idea of freedom for Scotland. ‘Tis a prospect I gladly took up when I swore my oath to the king. But I have his assurances that ye, and any babes we have, shall be cared for if I dinna return from battle. That being said,” here he lifted her chin with his finger. “I plan on returning every time. To our home at Threave. If the English haven’t been able to best me yet, and believe me, they’ve tried, I dinna think they will get to me at all. I will outlive them all, I vow.”
Her arms flexed around his waist, clinging to him as though he was the single, solid thing to hold on to as they floated through the unknown of the world. James kissed the top of her cool hair, soft and comforting against his lips.
“More than that, I made a vow to ye. The day I wed ye, and every day I am with ye. Every time I share my body with ye. I vow to be here for ye, to love ye, to grow old with ye. I’ve no’ forgotten that vow. I am no’ ready to leave this earth yet. God willing, I will be here to love ye for a long time yet.”
She melted into him at his words. He didn’t often share the tender sentimentalities of his heart, but after the past few days, and with the conversation he’d had that afternoon with the Bruce, he needed her to know how deep his feelings were for her.
“And I ye,” she whispered into the rough fabric covering his broad chest. “I was so afraid when I came here, was told to wed ye, but ye have given me a life I never imagined, a love I never knew possible. I thank ye for that gift of your heart.”
James’s chest throbbed at her words. At this moment he hadn’t considered possible in his days before the Bruce. He lowered his lips to hers, brushing against their yielding softness with a light kiss.
Then he lifted his head and peered into her upturned face, as bright and glowing as the half-moon that had begun to shine above them.
“And with that, I spoke with the Bruce this day. I have asked that we be permitted to settle at Threave in a sennight’s time. We lived there before we came to Auchinleck, so a household is already in place. And if ye have any maids here, Brigid, for instance, that ye want to join us, he’s granted leave that they may come as well.”
“We move to Threave?” Her eyes reflected the moonlight, shining up at him. James barked out a laugh.
