Her heart ached as much today as it did the day of her doomed wedding.
That was what she couldn’t convey to her family. She could not put into words the pain that wracked her chest from morning until night or how it woke her from sleep with chest-throbbing nightmares.
Most of her nightmares were of Sawny. In some, he was kidnapped. In others, her brothers found his broken body.
But the worst ones where when she looked him in his dark, intense eyes, and with a lingering look, he turned his back to her and walked away. In those dreams, she was screaming and reaching for him as he disappeared into the mist.
She did not tell anyone of those dreams. Their pitying looks and sorrowful words were too much for her to bear as it was.
Today had been a bit different, though. Her dreams were not as pained or vivid, and her pillow was not damp from tears. To appease her family and see if she was ready to leave her chambers, Adaira joined her mother in the main hall.
And it had been fine – she felt almost, well, normal.
Until the goldsmith had arrived.
Truthfully, she was proud of how she had handled the situation. Instead of breaking down or sobbing at the sight of the ring or the reminder of the day Sawny had plucked a bluebell and traced the lines of her face with its tender petals, she had stood tall. Rather than feeling wracked with sadness, her body shivered lightly at the memory. Something about her change in reaction struck her hard.
Because as she looked at that ring, she knew in her heart that Sawny had not left her of his own volition. He had not used her for sport or politics. He had loved her and adored her. The certainty of his absence pained her, aye. ‘Twas why she presently hid in her rooms. But in a way, it settled a part of her mind that had questioned his intentions, questioned everything she believed to be true about Sawny and their relationship.
Seeing the ring, she knew that their love had been true, a meeting of hearts and souls, and that if he was gone, it meant he was not coming back.
She could mourn him, but she would never let his memory go. It was a true memory, an honest and fiery love, and she would hold onto that for the rest of her life.
They may call her a fool, but she would cling to his memory and his love, especially since something so tangible yet remained.
Dead or alive, Sawny would always have her heart.
Chapter Fifteen
Unbeknowntohisparents,Reade continued to send several MacDonald men into the outskirts of the MacDonald lands and into nearby clans to seek out any information regarding the missing Keppoch fool. He, Maddock, and Conall, and some of Sawny’s kin even took their fair share of the duty, riding as far as they could daily through the Highlands and into the Lowlands.
Thus far, naught had come of the endeavor, but Reade was not ready to give up. His father might be worried about the letter, but Reade was yet worried about Adaira. She had made some progress, but she was slipping away before their eyes.
His bold, beautiful sister.
Reade dug his heels in and told his men to keep looking.
He’d have that lecher’s head on a platter if it was the last thing he did.
To make matters worse, new suitors had started to arrive, seeking an opportunity to make a match with a daughter of Glen Coe and garner a rise in their station with it.
It sickened him.
Over the past few days, along with Maddock and Arran, Reade and his parents had turned away every manner of man. These hopefuls panted after his sister like dogs in heat. Even Maddock’s usual smile had turned into a sour line as they commanded yet another man, this one a cousin to a Stewart chieftain, to turn around and leave. The man had protested, even going so far as to lay his hand atop his sword hilt.
Arran did not give the man a chance to finish his sentence before his own Lochaber axe was at the man’s neck.
“Dinna think of it. Reade told ye to leave.”
The Stewart man took several hasty steps backward, placing distance between himself and the threatening axe, then glared at the men.
“Ye are fools, all of ye. The lass will have to wed. Glengarry will demand it. Ye canna protect her from everyone.”
Reade shrugged one shoulder. “I dinna have to protect her from everyone. Right now, I only need to protect her from ye. Ye should get used to disappointment.”
Giving Reade a final hard stare, the Stewart spun on his toe and left, his dull black and red kilt swinging as he disappeared around the palisade wall.
Maddock exhaled loudly behind them.
