I pull my hand back before I accidentally hurt her, clenching them both into fists until they turn white, trying to find the threads of my control. “So…Sorry,” I stutter, “Never again, I promise.”I consider leaving it there, but this woman has shared pieces of her soul with me. I have to do the same. “I mean it Holly. Never again. You will never have to live in fear again. I will fucking make sure of it. Nothing touches you.”
Her face is shuttered, the warmth from minutes ago long gone. “You can’t make that promise,” she says flatly.
“Holly,” I say quietly, waiting for her attention. “I absolutely can. I am a big, scary motherfucker. I am rich as fuck. Everything I have, everything I am, it’s yours.”Her big blue eyes widen. “I’m yours. You need something from me, you take it. You don’t even have to ask.”
“What?” she stops to clear her throat. “What do you mean, you’re mine?”
“Exactly what I said.”I lick my lips.“I…am…yours.” I rub my hand over my heart.“I have been since the day you showed up at the shop. I’m sorry I did a shitty job of showing you that. But it’s true.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Minnie carefully climbing down the cat tree. She hops up onto the back of the couch, walking softly to Holly. Her purring announcing her arrival.
I swear I’ll feed Minnie tuna for the rest of her life in thanks for the smile that spreads on Holly’s face. She reaches up and carefully pulls the cat into her arms and Minnie curls up on her chest like she belongs there. She’s rubbing Minnie’s cheeks and stroking down her back, and I can actually see the tension in Holly’s body dissolving. I sit, content to watch her, until her eyes finally meet mine.
“What exactly do you want from me?” She asks, still guarded.
“Wrong…question.” I tell her. Her forehead furrows in confusion.
“I told you I’m yours,”I explain.“So honestly, it doesn’t fucking matter what I want. The real question is, what do you want? Because if it’s in my power to get it for you Holly, I will.”
“So, what, I tell you I want a mansion and you’ll just go out and get it for me?” She asks in disbelief.
I pull out my phone, and open the contact for the realtor we work with, a fucking shark of a woman, then hand it to Holly. Her eyes dart from me to the phone as she takes it.
“That’s our realtor. Text her what you’re looking for, and she’ll get on it. She’ll start sending you listings ASAP.”
“You’re certifiable,” she says, shoving the phone against my chest. I don’t take it. “You’re not buying me a mansion.”
“You…want…get.” I nudge the phone closer to her chest. “Go on, message her. I’ll take you to look at a few as soon as you’re feeling better.”I don’t mention that I have every intention of going with her if she moves, even if I have to live in a shed in her backyard.
She’s staring at me like I have two heads. She clicks the screen off and drops it in her lap. “You’re serious.”
“Yep.”
She rolls her eyes. That little sign of sass makes me feel lighter. More hopeful. “I don’t actually want to live in a mansion.”
“Ok.” I shrug. “As far as I’m concerned, this place is your home. If you decide you don’t want to be here anymore, we’ll go somewhere else.”
“We?”
Whoops.
Fuck.
I rub the back of my head. How am I going to dig myself out of this hole? I can’t take it back, so I might as well lay everything on the table. “So what you want is number one. You’ve had too many years of not having your needs met. I won’t allow that to continue.”Her eyebrows raise at the word allow.
I take a deep breath, exhaling heavily as I go all in on the most important gamble of my life. “But you asked me what I want? The answer is simple. You. Any way I can have you. If that means I’m the best friend you’ve ever had, then so be it. But I hope, with time, you might come to love me like I love you.”
“Love…you.” I tell her, needing to say the words, to let her see the truth of them on my face.
Her eyes are flipping between mine, searching. I don’t hide from her, letting her look her fill.
“You don’t even know me.” Her voice is barely a whisper, though her disbelief is clear.
“I know you.”I tell her, capturing her eyes with mine, letting her see the truth.“I see you. You’re the kindest, most beautiful woman in the world. You’re an amazing friend. You have a laugh that could light up Times Square. And you have the softest skin I’ve ever touched. You’re the perfect package.”
She shakes her head, leaning back on the couch. “Why are you saying all of this?”
“Because it’s true. And I don’t want to play any games with you. I want you to have all the power here, Holly. Every bit of it. You need to know exactly where I stand.”
