“Go back inside? And what’ll you do, man? Go upstairs and read a book? Make a cup of tea?”
His lips firm. He knows as well as I do that his demons are riding him tonight. I saw them crawl over his face as he learned the damage inflicted on Holly’s friend Evie. He’s burning with rage.
“You need it. You know you do. I’ll admit I didn’t understand before, but I get it now. Why you need the fight. Why you like to make people bleed.”
He doesn’t agree or deny it, instead turning to call the elevator. In the garage, we climb into my car and head towards the warehouse district.
Colt’s quiet voice breaks into the silence. “It’s not about making people bleed.” I glance over at him, catching his serious eyes. I cock my eyebrow in disbelief.
“It’s not. It’s…simple there. It’s just man against man. Both of us letting the aggression out. Strongest guy wins.” He leans back in his seat with a sigh. “Our lives aren’t really simple anymore. Before, we had to fight for our place every day. It’s not like that now. We don’t worry about blades and bullets anymore. Instead, it’s corporate espionage and shady lawyers and fucktards who think they’re bad. Fuck brother, sometimes I just want to use my fucking fists.”
I get what he means. Most of our lives were a battle. When you’re always primed for a fight, it’s hard to stop. But I’m not like Colt. I like the lives we’ve built. I like not having to fight for everything.
“I’m…angry,” I tell him, glancing over at a red light.
“I can imagine, man. Holly’s been opening up?”
“Yeah,” I mutter, hearing the gravity of all she’s shared in my voice.
“We shoulda just arranged for that bastard to have an accident in prison. It would be easy. You know Johnny would do it for us in a heartbeat.”
“Still…thinking…’bout.” He would do it for us, even if it would extend his sentence. But I don’t want to do that to him. He’s sacrificed enough for us. And it’s a little fucked up that Colt’s even suggesting it. But then their relationship is a little fucked up.
“Good.” He says, before asking carefully “Have you thought about what happens when you go home tonight with bleeding knuckles and a battered face?”
“Wait,” I grunt, driving the last few miles in silence. When we pull up to the abandoned warehouse, I second guess this whole fucking plan. It looks exactly like a vampire hideout in every video game I’ve ever played, windows busted, doors hanging crooked. I see flickering lights inside, and a stream of shady and even shadier people heading inside. I rub my hands over my face, exhaling.
“I’ve thought about it, man. I’m afraid of what she might think. But I don’t have another option here. The darkness is riding me hard. I can’t spend another day being who she needs without releasing some of it.”
“I get it. I swear I do. But wouldn’t sparring with me help some?”
“No.” I say, rubbing my tight neck. “I need to let loose. I’m never gonna hurt you like that. Never. Same for any of you. We may fight, but we don’t hurt each other. That’s not who we are.”
“You’re right,” he says heavily. “I just wish you didn’t have to do this brother.”
“You’re here a lot. What’s the difference?”
“The difference is, I don’t have anyone sweet and soft waiting at home for me. It’s just me and my fucking hobbies. If I had a good woman in my life, I don’t think I'd be coming here.”
“You…find…someone.”
“Yeah, I’m not gonna hold my breath.” He scrubs a hand over his beard. “You fuckers got lucky.”
I don’t like the sadness on his face, but he only lets it linger for a second before he shakes it off and turns to me. “Ok. If we’re going in here, here’s what you need to know. First, you can wear a mouthguard, but no gloves. Second, there aren’t any rounds, it’s fight until tap out or TKO. Third,” he stops, frowning. “Never mind, there isn’t a third.”
What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
So maybe Colthas the right idea. My knuckles are split. So is my lip. My ribs are fucking killing me. And it’s the calmest I’ve felt in days. The rage is gone, getting smaller with each punch, each kick, until it dissolved. Colt’s energy has completely changed, too. The demons riding him seem to have released their grip on him. I haven’t seen him that worked up in a long time, and I wonder what’s been riding him.
“You think she’ll come?” He asks in the dark of the car. I glance over, the passing streetlights lighting up his face briefly.
“Who?”
“Evie. You think she’ll come?” There’s something in his voice I haven’t heard before.
“Hope…so.” For Holly’s sake, I hope she does. I don’t want her feeling guilty for what Brent did to Evie. It’s not her fucking fault, but that won’t matter. As long as Evie's still struggling, Holly won’t be able to settle into her life here. Her life with me.
“She shouldn’t have to struggle, man. Why don’t we just go get her? I can take the Jet and have them here by supper tomorrow.”
