This time at the garage, obsessing over Kade, felt like a break from my life. But spending all this time here with the guys made me realize that I desperately miss the Dojo. I miss the students and instructors. I miss feeling part of the team. I feel like I belong there in a way I just don’t here.
“I don’t want to work here anymore, Kade,” I admit. “I’m so grateful for the work, and I’m so glad I could help you. But I want to work at the Dojo.”
The resignation on his face I expect, but the determination that swiftly follows surprises me. “Don’t work here then. But what about us?”
“I…uh, I’m feeling a bit lost here, Kade,” I admit, scratching my fingers through my hair and looking at the floor.
He pushes. “It’s a simple question, Becca. Do you want me?”
Agh!
“It’s not a simple question, Kade! Do I want to fuck you? Yea, I’d like to climb you like a tree, maybe sit on your face. But it’s not that simple!”
Kade smiles and starts to walk around the desk.
“FREEZE!” I yell at him, startling him to a stop. He looks at me in puzzlement.
“Look, I’m sorry I’m having a bit of trouble adjusting to your complete one-eighty right now. This morning you were avoiding me, and now you want…what? To fuck like bunnies? Then what?”
Kade exhales, then slides his hands into the pockets of his pants, making the fabric pull against his groin. I gulp a little at the bulge and flip my eyes to the ceiling for a minute.
“That’s up to you,” he mumbles.
I arch an eyebrow at him and cross my arms over my chest. “Suddenly I have a say?”
He winces, then exhales again before meeting my eyes and completely blowing my mind.
“Yea Becca. It’s clear I didn’t do a good job showing you. But the truth is, I’m fucking obsessed with you. I fought it for a while, but I’d be happier sitting all night on your doorstep than fucking anybody else.” He clasps his hands at the back of his neck, looking down at his feet before meeting my eyes again. “I didn’t see you coming. And now, well, you can do anything you want with me. But please, for fuck’s sake, give me a chance.”
I gulp, drowning in the sincerity in his voice and gaze. “A chance?” I rasp.
He nods, “I’ll take anything, Becca. Any speed you want to go, I’m with you. Fuck I’ll walk you to and from work. I’ll carry your fucking purse. I mean it. ANYTHING.” His eyes are burning, and his face is tense. He looks like he’s in pain. And I’m reeling. I search his eyes again, but all I see is truth and want.
This man.
This beautiful, broken, successful man wants me.
All the feelings I’ve been pushing down rise in me again. The possibilities stretch out before me. He’s shared more of himself today than I could have hoped for. But in the back of my mind is a niggling worry. Worry that this is fleeting. Worry that he’ll change his mind. Worry that he’s still somehow confusing his feelings for me with his need to help me. To fix me.
I don’t need a hero.
But I do want a partner. A ride or die. Can this man give me that? He seems to have no problem giving away his money or his time. Can he love me the way I deserve to be loved?
And there I go, getting way ahead of myself.
We haven’t even been on a date. This could all crash and burn tomorrow.
But so what? I’ve crashed and burned before. And I’ve come back from it. I could do it again if I had to.
I straighten my spine as clarity comes to me. I can’t control what he does or how he feels. But if he’s telling the truth about his feelings, I know I want to explore it. I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t.
“Kade,” I say firmly, “I’m taking the job at the Dojo, and I’ll help you find someone to replace me here. Then I’ll quit.” I take a deep breath, studying his pained face. ”Until then, you’re still my boss.” I raise my hand, stopping his objections. “I’m okay with dating the boss, though,” I say with a smile.
His body settles, and a sexy grin curls the corners of his mouth.
“We date. You can pick me up after work. We spend time together. And once I’m not your employee anymore, if things are still good…then I’ll sit on your face.” I nod, pleased with my plan.
Kade’s big smile and low chuckle make my heart stutter. Crap. I need to change my underwear. And buy a new vibrator. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks.
