5
DECLAN
T he ER doors shut behind me, separating me from her. "Fuck!" Most of the people in the waiting room startle, but a few are slumped over, not moving. Somebody better fucking check on them. The security guard in the corner is eyeing me like he's sizing me up, trying to figure out if he can take me or not.
It's not.
He’s big, but I’ve been trained to fight by tougher men than him.
I'm not looking to start a fucking brawl in the ER, though, so I head out the second set of doors into the crisp night air. Pacing, I peer into the waiting room, wishing I had Superman's X-Ray vision so I could see into the ER itself. So I could see Cara.
Everything fucking stopped when I saw her come through those doors, but not in a good way. Not the way it stopped when I saw her the first time. But like I might be about to lose everything.
I've lived through some scary shit, but I've never been this scared, and that says a fuck of a lot about how big my feelings are for her. So, of course, I fuck it up.
I used to do that. Lash out and let shit spew when I was overwhelmed. But I haven't done it in a long time, and I've never done it like that. Yeah, I have an issue with some of her choices, but to spew that shit all over her when she's hurt? When she's in pain and has been through something horrible?
That's low.
I want to go straight back in there, drop to my knees, and tell her how sorry I am. It is not her fault that her sister was attacked. It's not her job to predict that someone might go off the fucking rails. And for me to say so was inexcusable.
But if I go back in there right now, it's all about me. Her attention needs to be on her sister right now. Not on the asshole who spouted shit at her. But my words hurt her. Badly. And I'm desperate to fix it, and I don't fucking know how.
I can still feel her in my arms, on my skin. That was the first time I actually held her, and for a minute, I felt like a superhero. Like I could and would protect her from the world. It felt so right.
She felt so right.
I don't know how long I stand here, staring in the window. Long enough to be chilled. Long enough to see those slumped-over people get woken up and taken through the double doors. Long enough to see the security guard go on break, a shorter woman taking his place. I vaguely consider pushing past her to get back to Cara, but a closer look at her lined face convinces me to stay where I am. She has seen some shit, and she'd be a fuck of a lot harder to take down. Plus, I'd be no better than the fucker that hurt Cara's sister.
How did I not know she had a sister? The woman's not shy, so I thought I knew everything there was to know about her. But clearly, I don't.
I see his reflection beside mine the second before his hand drops on my shoulder. "Hey, Mav."
Maverick tightens his grip, standing next to me silently. Minutes later, Colt exits the ER. We watch him stride through the waiting room and out the automatic doors. He stomps to us, face a mask of rage that grows the closer he comes.
I deserve it. I know it's coming. I'm ready for it. I don't fight it. But the sheer force of his fist connecting with my stomach doubles me over.
"You are a fucking asshole."
I can't stand up straight, my stomach still clenching. I have to swallow the bile down to speak. "I know."
Colt turns to Maverick, already done with me. I don't blame him. I am a fucking asshole.
"It's bad, brother," he says. "From what I can tell, Cara killed her sister's boyfriend tonight."
Maverick has his game face on, not a flicker of reaction showing. "I've made a call to one of the top criminal defense attorneys in the city. For now, I'll stay with her. Make sure she doesn't say anything to the cops until Marty gets here."
"I can see if Evie can run interference. Cara's fucking wrecked, man. She's in no condition to answer questions right now. And her sister..." His voice trails off as he stares into the parking lot.
"Is she in rough shape?" Maverick asks.
"She's got bruises around her neck from his fucking hands. She's not waking up. It's not good."
Shoving my hands against my knees, I manage to stand upright. I always feel a bit like a kid next to Colt, but right now, standing between my brothers, I feel like an immature asshole. But I have to know. "Did you guys know she has a sister?"
They both turn to stare at me like I'm dumb. It's Mav who answers. "Yeah, of course, I fucking knew. I work with her every day. I know a fuck of a lot about her life."
"I didn't know," I say quietly. I work with her every day too. But still, I didn't know.
