“And you feel like you’re drowning.”
“Yes.” She was openly weeping.
“How did this happen? It seemed like everything was doing so well.”
“Remember when Pamela left?”
He nodded, knowing she wasn’t happy when Pamela, a woman who headed the marketing department, left to work for a different company.
“Well, they said they couldn’t hire someone to fill the role, so then I took over that area too. Soon after that we lost a huge chunk of our federal funding, so then Elena and Luis were let go.”
“Wait, isn’t that your whole department… Besides you, I mean?”
“Yeah, but the financials of the organization have been struggling, and then with general inflation and everyone tightening their belts, plus more and more families applying to the program, it’s been a rough year. The pressure I’m under is a lot.”
“Holy shit. So it’s just been you?”
Cat nodded. “And I feel pulled in a bunch of different directions. I’m constantly screwing up, even for the events, because it’s just me and a single part-time marketing intern. I feel completely incompetent most of the time, but I can’t just stop. I need to keep going to get donations, or I don’t know if we’re goingto make it.”
“Who’s doing your work while you’re here?”
“Someone from a different department is holding down the fort since I was only supposed to be gone for a few days, but I’m worried she’s going to be overwhelmed too. I had a breakdown at work, blew up at the receptionist for forgetting to pass on a very important message, and that’s why they forced me to take this vacation.”
“Holy shit,” he said again. “Cat, you could have told me.”
“What could you possibly do about any of this? Nothing. So what’s the point?”
“Maybe I can’t do anything, or maybe I can volunteer to help when I don’t have classes, but you don’t need to carry this whole load on your shoulders. If your boss or the board won’t listen, I will. I don’t know why you think you can’t lean on me.”
“I don’t want to get used to it. Because what if someday you’re not there…like my dad?” Cat had only talked about her father a few times. Trey knew the man had left Cat and her mother when she was very young to be with another woman. She mostly treated the incident with a shrug of her shoulders and a simple statement of fact, as though it had never truly affected her. And though his own parents were divorced, both had remained in his life, so he hadn’t known what it was like for her. At the same time, he got it. When his parents sat him and his brother down in grade school for the divorce conversation, there was a moment of fear that had sat in his gut because he didn’t know what it meant for his future. There had been a real fear of losing his connection with at least one of his parents.
Her thinking he’d get up and leave her to fend for herself was understandable, given her history, but it pained him nonetheless. How could she believe he was capable of doing something so horrendous? As much as he wanted to be angry with her, he realized he had done the same thing with his careless adultery accusation—for even assuming, no matter how briefly, that there was a chance she’d do something just as horrendous. He didn’t blame her for being furious. Flinging these types of assumptions proved to be painful for both of them.
He leveled a serious look in her direction. “If this experience taught you anything, it's that it’s pretty much impossible to shake me. I will find you whether you’re inside of sargasm, empanadas, or seashells. I’m not leaving. Not ever. I’m going to use every last breath I have to be with you until I have nothing left to give.”
Trey thought he’d put together a pretty romantic speech. He was surprised when she started laughing. “Sargasm?”
“That stinky seaweed stuff.”
“Sargassum. Although, now I’m curious. It sounds like a sarcastic orgasm.”
“I thought the same thing!” He popped his hips in exaggerated motions. “Oh yeah, that’s totally going to make me come, baby,” he said flatly while rolling his eyes.
She laughed harder, sounding more carefree and lighter than she’d been in a while. He loved it.
Trey pulled her back into his arms, and she settled on his chest again. “Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, things go back to our normal life and you could pick anything for yourself without guilt.”
“I don’t know if I can drop the guilt completely. I was raised Catholic, remember?”
“From my perspective, the current situation at your job is unmanageable, and it’s not because you’re incapable. It’s because it’s unmanageable for pretty much anyone. There wouldn’t be all those positions in the first place if it were possible to be done by a single person, right? What do you want?”
“I can’t just quit. Money would be—”
“I’ve been working towards finishing my teaching license. I’m going to do it full-time if I can. If I have to get a second job, then I’ll get a second job. You’re not helping anyone if you’re so stressed out that you shut down or have breakdowns at work. We’ll figure it out together.”
She reached for him, lightly crying again and kissing him. “But if you work that much, I’ll never see you.”
“And you want to see me?”
