“So that’s a no.”
I grab my phone so we can make digital-eye-contact. “So,youhave plans?”
“Oh yeah, going to hand out candy with my folks to the neighborhood kids. It’s going to be lit.” She scratches the back of her ear. “Do people still say lit?”
“Wow. Really embracing twenty-one going on forty-five energy. But that sounds fun. I think seeing a baby in a pumpkin costume would fix me.”
The dorm door bursts open. Terrence stomps into the room, wearing cheap sunglasses and carrying two handles of vodka like dumbbells. There’s a bunch of rainbow disks at the bottom of the plastic bottles, recalling science projects about river silt. A piece of computer paper with a dull box of Skittles is stuck to his shirt.
I almost forgot about the hockey team's group costume. Still confused how the costume looks so thrown together despite being planned. Terrence points at me with the neck of the vodka handle. “Rod. Taste the rainbow.”
“This feels like the beginning of a really bad porno.”
Alex giggles. Terrence lifts his sunglasses. “That Alexsandra?”
“No.”
Alex shouts over the phone,“Hi, Terrence! Getting lit tonight?”
“You know it.” Terrence gets right behind me and leans over my shoulder to get into frame. “Hey, if you want, you could tag along.”
“Can’t,” all her excitement seems to have melted away faster than a piece of chocolate left abandoned in some coat pocket. “I’ve already got plans.”
I roll my eyes. “And a boyfriend.”
Alex lifts a brow. “Bitter much?”
If Terrence wasn’t here, I would admit it. Tell Alex about Christos’ cold shoulder that melts away once the sun sets and he’s off campus. We don’t even text each other about sports or books anymore. Just filthy messages that I can’t repeat. There’s something wrong about getting a message telling me to use his mouth like my personal fleshlight and wishing he’d talk to me about birds… It doesn’t help that I respond in kind, letting him know he is absolutely, 100% mine to use whenever I please. An unrealistic fantasy I wish was just 1% sure.
Before I can respond to Alex, I get a call from Marcus.
“Gotta go, talk later!” I blow her a kiss. She makes a kissy face back right as I hang up to answer Marcus’ call.
He’s got on an intricate wizard hat and lush robes that look heavy and cozy. “Pondering the orb all by yourself tonight?”
“Dude, you look sick!” Terrence says. He leans to one side to make room for a vodka handle. “I’m making potions.”
“Nice,” Marcus gives him a sharp-toothed smile. “You convinced Rod to leave the dorm yet?”
“Nah, I gave up on dragging him to parties this year.” Terrence ruffles my hair. “Can’t separate the beast from his forest. His color-coded domain. The schedule to rival all schedules.”
My hair is so dry that if he keeps rubbing it’ll start a fire. I push his hand back. “Drinking that much sugar would give me the crash of the century.”
Marcus asks, “You got any breaks in that color-coded domain of yours?”
“Sure.”
It’s not a complete lie. The Grand Prix is before Christmas, so I’ll take that off. Spending time with family isn’t the most relaxing thing in the world, but it’s something. Maybe I’ll eat some sugar cookies.
My nightly texts with Christos aren’t officially on the schedule, but I count those as breaks. I have to turn my brain off to enjoy the full experience. As confusing as our situation is, it does recharge me. A shot of dopamine to block out all my responsibilities and lull me to sleep. I wonder if he feels the same or if I’ve become more a nuisance than a wanted distraction.
Would it kill the mood if I asked?Hey, what should I call you besides cockslut? Boyfriend? Situationship? Are you seeing other people? Because I’m not.But that opens up a whole lot of doors I won’t be able to close—and, still, I’ve got my hand on the knob.
Terrence gestures at the phone with the handle of vodka. “Meet me at the fountain in like an hour if you want to get fucked up.”
“A wizard is never late.” He hangs up.
It’s only when Terrence leaves that I start to question the schedule I’ve treated like a canonical text. I move things around, trying to slot tonight’s study time into a different block, the act itself eating into my studies. I open up my texts to confirm I have my coaching sessions with Maude right. I do the same with the rink time I’ve requested from Christos.
